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Half Pint Brawlers' Taser Match Canceled


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According to the Half Pint Brawler's Twitter, the taser match that was originally scheduled between Puppet the Psycho Dwarf and a Half Pint Brawler of your choosing has been canceled.

The Tweet went as follows:

"Due to State Regulations in OH we're not able to do the Taser Match @KingsIslandPR Half Pint Brawlers"

However, they later Tweeted the following:

"Puppet the Psycho Dwarf vs Madd Mexx vs Eric Smalls in a NO HOLDS BARS EXTREME HARDCORE MATCH! @KingsIslandPR Half Pint Brawlers"

and finally:

"Make sure you attend for the bloodiest midget wrestling match ever seen @KingsIslandPR by the Half Pint Brawlers "

Make sure you follow Puppet the Psycho Dwarf on Twitter @halfpintbrawler and of course following Kings Island @KingsIslandPR

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Darn, I was looking forward to watching sweaty, bleeding midgets subject themselves to weapons used by state troopers on people who are violent and resist arrest. Oh well, I guess I'm going to have to do with sweaty, bleeding midgets violently hitting each other with ladders and chairs while subjecting themselves to devices used to kill rats and hang paper on walls. But it's just not the same, you know?

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Hmmm Ohio legislators have regulations that will not allow sweaty midgets to shock each other with tasers in a wrestling ring, but on the other hand we can all go by our very own bengal tiger.

Wouldn't make a difference to me if they were using tasers, cattle prods, ladders, thumbtacks, paperclips, or tape dispensers, I will not be watching.

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^ I think the state considers a taser in the same category as a gun. Because police use it as a way to defend, and being shocked over and over by a taser can be damaging to your heart. Not sure if that's the reason but just throwing that out there.

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So a high-reaching midget wrestling troupe might have fabricated a tall tale about their big finale? Is this the pinnacle of hypocrisy? This has to be a towering let down and huge disappointment. This match certainly would have elevated their sky high reputation to lofty new heights!

Get it?......they're short!!!!!

Good luck lil' fellers, may your show be stellar, and your blood run true.

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Maybe they can get one of those guns that shoots beanbags or whatever.

Those things freaking hurt! Not really intended for real close range.

On the taser note. (3 yr old in time out, telling me she does't like me now...nice try :D)

On the taser note, brain circuitry is very complex and I was always surprised at how... loose police enforcement is with tasing, or tasering.

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