RingMaster's Fairly Lengthy SCREAMPARK Review

[RingMaster]

I meant to post this last night, but I about dozed off a quarter of the way through and decided to put it off til now. Oh well.

Anyway, yes, Haunting season has officially begun with the opening of the Halloween Haunt at Kings Island. But, for me, it actually began a mere 24 hours prior and 100 miles down south in the wee little town of Lexington, Kentucky. I am of course talking about SCREAMPARK.

For those of you who remember a poster by the nametag Hauntguy, Tyler Barnett set out to create his own haunted event and came up with said haunt in the fall of last year. Three mazes are in the lineup - The Abyss, Insanity: Chaos Attraction, and Castle of Fear - and there are even special roamers that stalk guests as they wait in line. I unfortunately was not able to attend the grand opening in 2009, but I more than made up for it by going this year with some old friends from our very own Haunt and my "Haunt Mommy" Karen.

Tucked away behind two bars in a warehouse lies the entrance to SCREAMPARK; posters line the wall detailing the three haunts as well as the two icons of the event - Accumulus Souls and Barnibas Rynes. Barnibas is a classy swine with a top hat and an eye for evil. Accumulus, on the other hand, is a silent, towering behemoth who carries a lantern and a pocketful of souls. Other roaming monstrosities include two creepers, or sliders, if you will (new for this year), and a massive free-roaming beast simply dubbed "Karen."

Now onto the reviews. When it comes to reviewing haunted houses I use the simple 1-5 scale, albeit with different names:

• SCREAM - (5/5) - Excellent. Cannot be missed.
• SHRIEK - (4/5) - Great. Some minor flaws that keep it from being a perfect attraction.
• STARTLE - (3/5) - Good. Also decidedly average. Nothing groundbreaking or particularly noteworthy, but still a good attraction.
• KNIFE - (2/5) - Bad. One or two things might be good in here, but the flaws drag the house down to the ground.
• AXE - (1/5) - Horrible. Avoid at all costs. Nothing redeeming can be rescued from this wreckage of a house.

THE ABYSS

Rating: STARTLE

This is essentially your dark house to where you're seemingly left to fend off whatever is lurking out in the darkness. Think the dark room that used to be in Massacre Manor (now the nondescript Blood Room), but quantified to be its own attraction.

People with a fear of the dark will be absolutely TERRIFIED in here. The monsters use the darkness to their advantage and pounce very quickly. They have small flashlights so as they can give off a quick flash for that added scare. Air cannons are also a big player here as they are both unexpected and effective.

Save for a finale where you traverse the inflatable wall gag (like in Slaughterhouse's finale as if you're being herded like cattle), not much is there in the maze itself that is a particular wow moment. However, that isn't really an issue considering it's supposed to be a pitch black maze; the robbing of the guests' sense of sight and the fear of the dark/unknown is the main star here.

Compared to the other two mazes offered at SCREAMPARK, this is definitely the weakest of the three, but that doesn't mean it's a bad maze. It's still worth a shot through, but I suggest hitting this one up first.

INSANITY: HOSPITAL FOR THE INSANE

Rating: SCREAM

Let's get this out of the way right now: Insanity is Death Row with portions of Urgent Scare mixed in.

Okay, that said, INSANITY is still one of the best houses I've ever been through and pretty much curbstomps Death Row to a bloody pulp (especially now since most, if not all, of the original talent has fled the prison).

Insanity is a trek through an insane asylum where the patients are running amok and no staff are anywhere to be found. Yes, I know that sounds generic and overly cliche, but the maze itself more than makes up for the lack of a full-fledged, in-depth storyline the likes of Halloween Horror Nights (Floridites and Haunt buffs will know what I'm talking about, hopefully). For starters, only two parts of the maze actually resemble Death Row, which are a series of chain-link mazes and strobe lights. However, they are relatively short (particularly the second part) and are not the centerpiece of the attraction.

Unlike DR, several scenes are placed into the mix to make you believe this is a real asylum of sorts. A security station, management office, and storage facility serve as key locations to the attraction, and aren't filled with strobes, so you can kind of relax a bit and take in the scenery. Seriously, there actually is quite a bit of stuff to view in these rooms, as they are highly detailed and rival that of a Hollywood movie set.

There are several special effect sequences in here that are particularly noteworthy. One is a machine gun air cannon in the second chain-link maze that is incredible and gets people every time. Another is the always classic spinning tunnel, which, at first, seems to be completely out of place in an attraction such as this, but it dawns on you that you're meant to be spiraling out of control and into insanity, which is a spectacular idea! One of the best effects, however, is a special door that has a film play in the window of one of the patients wielding an axe attempting to break through the door. At first glance it doesn't seem too thrilling as she breaks the glass and it may look a little fake, but as she begins taking the axe to the door, markings actually appear in the door itself, as if someone really IS hacking their way through. It is a simply amazing effect. One thing that would make it even better is that the effect sits next to a large window with security equipment, and it would've been a real treat to have an actor dressed just like the girl in the video pop out for an even bigger scare.

Speaking of actors, there are a TON of them in Insanity, and they are all on fire even if it is just Opening Night. They know their surroundings perfectly and actually had us going in circles in the first chain-link portion of the maze, Kudos to them!

Oh, and before I forget, I can't write a review for this maze without talking about the bathroom. Yes, one of the scenes involves walking through a devilishly disgusting bathroom with fecal matter and vomit splattered everywhere. And, yes, it smells like the real thing. Let me repeat that for you: IT SMELLS LIKE THE REAL THING. Tyler and his crew were actually able to pump out SMELLS in this haunt, and it worked to an AMAZING effect (again, Floridites and Haunt fans in general should remember an HHN maze dubbed Psychoscareapy that utilized this same effect back in 2006). Excellent, excellent job on their part, and my second favorite maze of SCREAMPARK.

CASTLE OF FEAR

Rating: SCREAM

I saved the best one for last. I did not think it would be possible to top Insanity in terms of set design, effects, and whatnot, but Castle of Fear managed to trump even that, in my opinion.

This attraction is simply a walk through a seemingly abandoned castle that turns out to be home to a cacophony of carnivorous creatures. While The Abyss was simply pitch black and Insanity was bright and chaotic, Castle or Fear is a mixture of the two, blending in dark corridors with atmospheric lighting to give the maze that very eerie feel to it. It's also a quiet maze as there aren't that many actors in here and they are nowhere near as noisy or crazy as their asylum brethren next door. You would think that not having enough talent in a maze like this would be a problem, but on the contrary; it works here to full extent as it really feels cold and empty and uninviting.

The set design here is second to none, and pretty much surpasses everything Kings Island has done with the Haunt (even beating out Urgent Scare as the most beautiful haunt). Just the first hallway you enter is wonderfully detailed with statues, columns, and a slight amount of fog to creep you out. It only gets better from there.

The most striking setpiece, however, happens at the halfway point where you exit out of a dark passageway and into a massive, and I mean MASSIVE, forest and graveyard scene. The sheer size of this one room is astounding, and I believe the entirety of The Abyss could fit inside here! This is what essentially won me over and made Castle of Fear my most favorite attraction EVER. You actually get to walk on a bridge and walk THROUGH this brilliantly-designed scene, and it really does feel as if you've stepped outside. (One thing to note here as well is the fact that it is quiet in this portion as well, which is quite a shock as Insanity sits ten feet away.)

From that scene, we step into a mausoleum that could be a separate maze in and of itself, and is also brilliantly designed. Catacombs abound here, and a really great effect should have been used here with the skeletons resting in the holes; it would've been awesome to have an actor grab at your ankles as you assume it's just another prop. That said, though, it's still breathtaking to walk through the attraction, and is definitely worth going through again and again and again. Truly spectacular work!

SCREAMPARK is an amazing haunt and should not be missed should you take the trip down to Lexington anytime soon. Most excellent job, Tyler!!

Tickets: $16.00 General Admission; $25.00 VIP ScreamPass (front-of-the-line access); $50.00 Behind-The-Scenes ScreamPass (lights-on tour of SCREAMPARK, limited to 10 people per tour and starts at 5pm

Operating Hours: 7pm-1am (Fridays & Saturdays); 7pm-10pm (Thursdays & Sundays)

Operating Calendar: September 23rd-26th, September 30th-October 3rd, October 7th-10th, October 14th-17th, October 21st-24th, October 28th-31st

Website: http://www.scarylexington.com

[Colonel_SoB_fan]

Is this the same Tyler Barnett that played baseball at Eastern Kentucky University?

[Colonel_SoB_fan]

double post?