PKI Comedy

[gabelogan99]

OK, I'm the new guy. I've already established all that and I've got another hot debate going on somewhere else, so I thought I'd start a "lighter" topic, involving many things. First of all, I just created a 25-question multiple choice quiz on PKI for Funtrvia.com. It is not up and ready to play yet, since I'm still waiting for Funtriva.com admin approval. However, there are a couple of PKI quizzes not created by me available right now and you can check them out if you want to. If you wanna track your records, make sure you become a member. More information about how to get to the specific quiz and the link is at the bottom of the post.

Secondly, I just wondered how many of you are PKI staff and where specifically you work. I know that can get boring for people who know and love each other, but I'm just curious. I'm also a little surprised that there ARE so many employees who post. Many employees have that info on their sig, and that's a nice touch. Anyway, are you assigned to a specific ride at all times or can you jump around? Lastly, on this subject, I know it's a stretch and just kind of a hypothetical thing, but is PKI looking for new employees?

Third, I want to pitch a new idea to you: Top Ten Lists, about anything having to do with PKI, and written by anyone who wants to write one. I'm a writer, so that's kind of my thing. Give me ideas for Top Ten topics and general thoughts about creating Top Tens. I thought of a topic: "Top Ten Annoying Questions That Smart Asses Ask at the Krusty Krab" such as "Do you have Krabby Patties?" Anyway, gimme your feedback; I don't work there but I've been there enough times to know what goes on. Which leads me to my final thought.

My final thought is that I prefer Kings Island to any park in the world, even the all-powerful Cedar Point. Environment is key at PKI, that's what makes it so special. I've watched it evolve in my eighteen years into a thriving theme park and an Ohio icon. I believe the last time I went was October 14, 2002. (I forget too easily) Before that, I went on October 1, 2000 and May 1, 1999. I look forward to going sometime SOON because believe me I got the fever. I've got a big hankering for some Smurf ice cream, too. And just a few hours ago while I was at home eating a hot dog for lunch, I wished I was at La Rosa's, hearing the roaring of The Vortex as I dined. In the meantime, I'll just have to think about the past trips and look forward to the future ones. Anyway, I got an AP test to study for....uuughhh. Peace until next time;)

http://www.funtriva.com

click on "Entertainment" and the it's something like "Coasters and Theme parks" from there. Have fun!

[DragonLord]

If you read the forums you will run into a page that the people who want identified as staff at PKI have already done so.

Also, PKI is always looking for people to hire. If they aren't hiring for an area you want to work in, they will give you some openings. Applications, I belive, are good for a year, so you can fill one out now and it should be good all summer/season long. Depending on your age you can only do a few things. If you are 18+ you can pretty much work any department you want.

[gabelogan99]

Thanks for the info, DragonLord. I know I talked to you a little on AIM, but I thought of one more question that maybe anyone might be able to answer. I mentioned to DragonLord that it'd be one hell of a commute for me if I was interested in a position at PKI, because I live about 20 miles south of Columbus. Anyway my question is, because I've heard rumors about this, is does PKI house employees? I was just wondering, and I know it's kinda a stretch, but like I said I have heard rumors.

[gabelogan99]

OK, here's what I got so far: I know PKI isn't hiring right now but, according to a good friend of mine, employment picks up after Memorial Day. I put in an online application and hope to hear from them this summer. Anyway, I know you're limited in what you can say due to a post on another PKI site consisting of a forum like this one, but can anyone tell me if PKI houses employees? I'm an Ohio resident and I'm 18.

[Beastfreak]

The park is actually hiring. Only for certain positions.

No, the park does not offer housing and doesn't feel the need to offer it right now. This question was brought up at the begining of the year and was dismissed since most employees are locals.

Edited January 1, 1970 by beastfreak

[StXBomber]

Top Five Things I Hear/Say at PKI

5: "Excuse me, where's Rivertown?" (said by guests in front of clock by Tiques)

4: "Hi *insert name on nametag here*" (said by guests entering ride)

3: "Oh look! I'm just tall enough to ride!" (said by guests entering ride)

2: "No, the seatbelt goes right here." (said by me)

Edit: Personal slams are not welcome at PKIU. Have a problem with someone? Then be a grown up and contact them via e-mail, not on the board.

Edited January 1, 1970 by AZ Kinda Guy

[Beastfreak]

Top #5 Questions heard in food service:

5) How much does "insert item name here" cost?

My reply...... Point up

4) Where is the bathroom?

My reply...... Point to the left cause its right there

3) How do I get to the Picnic Grove?

My reply...... Usually walk them there cause they will never find it on their own

2) How do I get to the exit?

My reply...... Go to the Eifel Tower then you'll see it.

1) Where is the Eifel Tower?

My reply...... Smack forehead because of stupidity

[CYoung2003]

Top 5 things I hear at Face/Off and Congo Falls

#5) Will we get wet on this ride? (Congo)

My Reply: Yeah, this is a water ride, you will get wet.

#4) Can you hold my purse? (Congo)

My Reply: No, were not permitted to hold purses.

#3) But my kid rode Face/Off last year and he was tall enough!! (Face/Off)

My Reply: Im sorry but the height scale says he/she is too short and for there safety, I am not permitted to let them ride.

#2) Since nobodys in line, can we ride again? (Congo)

My reply: If somebodys in line for your spot you will either have to move to a different row or exit.

#1) Do these bars come down? (Congo)

My Reply: No, just hang on tight.

[SML828]

Picture it: The summer of 1998, The PKI Ushers are tired of hearing the same questions over and over - So, we make our annual T-shirt, this time consisting of a top 10 list. Yes, this is real - I have the shirt right in front of me - and yes, these are actual questions we have been asked!

Top 10 Questions Of 1998 That Drive Us Crazy

10. Is This Timberwolf? (Asked at the International Showplace)

9. When Does The Movie Start? (Referring to the Titanic exhibit that came to the park, that consisted of props and costumes.)

8. Does This Cost Anything? (Refering to the shows)

7. Is This Rope Here For A Reason? Is This Fence Here For A Reason? (Asked at the International Showplace and at the Slime Bowl)

6. Do You Work Here, Or Are You Just Milling About?

5. Is That Ohio Time? (There are quite a few visitors from Indiana)

4. Is This The Ice Show? (Asked at Paramount Theatre)

3. Do You Really Get Paid To Do That? (One of my favs.)

2. Is This The Phantom Of The Opera/Smurf/Small World Ride? (Asked At Enchanted Theatre - this one drove me NUTZ!)

1. Where Is The Closest Restroom? Is That REALLY The Closest Restroom? (Another one of my favs.)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

beastfreak - I have also been asked where the Eiffel Tower is, but actually in some parts of the park, you can't see the Tower...If you stand by the Back Porch - the trees completely block your view, I had someone ask me that while I was working at the Porch and I and turned around and it wasn't there...threw me for a loop!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Heck I've also been asked...

"Where Is Big Ben?" --- "Um, in London?!"

"Where Is Mickey?" --- "Um, in Florida!? We don't mention the mouse here!"

Our Question to some guests...not all, just some!

"Where's your brain?" --- "Um, in the parking lot!?"

[Beastfreak]

I guess that means the park needs to make the tower taller.

[SOB_TOM]

I was asked where the Eiffel Tower is once while working SOB. That was funny.

Also, I was asked if Tomb Raider was a real movie. (after someone viewed preshow)

[StXBomber]

Another classic:

"What is this?" (FoF)

[SOB_TOM]

You also have to think, FOF is indoors. Thats a legimate question.

I thought about this some more in English class (my foreign language lol) and I thought of some more questions from this year:

Is this a Ride? (Out at greeter right next to the Tomb Raider THE RIDE sign)

Is this the entrance? (Again, at greeter while sitting under the ENTER sign)

Do the stone monkeys come to life? (In antechamber)

Does someone poke out of that door? (This one is just kinda ironic because the guy immediately in Preshow happened to run through the fog the next time antechamber door opened)

This is all that I could think of off hand. Im sure FOF has some good ones as well.

[Beastfreak]

Actually I have a good one.....

One day I was working up in the international resturuant above the front gate. I walked out into the main dinning room then into the other main room passing through the "waiting area" where you would put in your name and wait for a table. Well there was this old couple sitting there all patiently, that was a suprise to see people sitting there. They asked me when the restruant was opening. I wanted to laugh but couldn't. I had to explain how they closed a long time ago and that someone must have left the door unlocked. I almost felt bad cause I didn't know how long they sat there until I found them.

[StXBomber]

Wow, lmao, thats great. How long ago did it close?

Another FoF great quote:

"Where did all the people go?" (in load station)

[Return_of_Yogi]

Top Ten Character Questions?

10. To Barney rubble " This isnt the real Barney, wheres Fred's purple Dinosaur?"

9. What Happened to Mickey Mouse?

8. "Can you talk?"

7. Is this a boy or girl? because if its a boy Im not touching it.

6. Why is Dora so tall, isnt she a little girl?

5. "Is Scooby Doo coming out today?" Standing right next to Scooby Doo. DUH!

4. Are you his bodyguard?

3. Is that A real Person inside there?

2. Is Spongebob a robot?

and the number one annoying question to characters is.............................................................................................................................................................................

1. Can you take off your head, my daughter/son is scared of you?

Tada!

Yogi