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A Fun Newcomer's Guide to the Kings Island


Titan
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Welcome aboard the S.S. Titaneer, I'm your captain A.S. Titan, but you sailors can refer to me as Titan. You are about to embark on the greatest journey ever known to man; one full of adventure, hardships, and expensive food from that yonder galley. Now just where are we going? Several villages, on the small island of Cincinnati aka the Kings Island. Oh and before you board I must warn you, there's a Beast that roams the village. He seeks revenge on those who destroyed his son and to make it worse, he's unchained. Okay on a positive note, let's board the vessel and head out!

Alright folks we are currently sailing out of the channel and heading for the mighty Congo Ocean. Keep your eyes open and you may be able to spot some Kenzel Sharks. But we ask that you do not try to interact with them because they are vicious and will sue for everything you have. Also look out for Paramount Pirates. They'll ruin this vessel with their corporate cannons. Now, we are supposed to arrive at 9:00 A.M. tomorrow. But most of the natives don't wake until 10, however with this golden loot we'll be welcomed just fine. So I'm going to leave you guys to get settled and let's hope for a safe journey.

"Land Ahoy!" We've spotted the island off in the distance! It's a bit foggy, but we should be able to dock in about 10 minutes. Everyone make sure you grab your golden loot and a lot of coins, because food will cost you an arm and a leg, literally!

Alright folks we've reached land, so let's exit and head on over to the International Trading Market.

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There are various posts here such as an Emporium, Pretzel Shop, Pizzeria, and a bunch more. This market also features the village's signature feature. A fort known as the Eiffel Tower. This gives you a great view of the whole market place and surrounding villages . There is also a royal fountain that stretches along the length of the market, with an added band stand at the end. If you are up for some black (not really) magic, then head over to the bar (theater) and check out one of the last remaining Alonzos! Now, off to the left of the International Market is a village known as the Action Village. This area is home to many natives of the island.

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The first native of this village is a man named Invertigo. He recently received a new look, but don't let that deceive you. He resides at 138' tall and has some interesting features about him; such as a cobra roll, loop, and two 138' lift hills. You'll find yourself being lured into his 138' lift hill and then once you reach the top you'll be dropped! You'll free fall 130' before being thrown through a cobra roll and propelled through a loop. But he's not done yet. Then you'll make your way up his second lift hill, only to go through his maze, but in reverse! They recommend you be at least 54" to feel his wrath, however if you're taller than 78", he'll spit you out!

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The next native of this village is an extinct bird species known as the Arrow Suspenders. There's only one of these here, named Flight Deck. There's not much stats on it because it's a long hike back there, but we believe that it can fly around 50 mph. And if you get caught, you'll be swung helplessly around it's long twisted path, but once you reach it's nest you should be fine because it doesn't have kids. It's recommended that you be at least 48" to feel the wrath of the Arrow.

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Drop Tower is the island's high roller. He resides at 315' and if you're lucky he'll take you up to his level, but only for a little bit. Then you'll find yourself being dropped at 67 mph into the dungeon. Now he's a bit prejudice and favors people who are 48" or taller, however once you hit 80", it's off with your head!

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Natives on the island like to call the storms Deliriums. These are short fast storms that can cause a lot of damage to property. They have tornado like qualities and will spin you dizzy, before finally releasing you from their iron grip. You should be able to survive this storm if you're at least 52" tall, however the storm likes to keep prey that are 70" or taller.

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Here we have the Congo Falls. This is the tallest waterfall on the whole island and spills out into the mighty Congo Ocean. There have been a few brave souls who have boated down the falls, however that number is very few. Could you be the next one who conquers this behemoth? I have a buddy who can hook you up with a boat, however you must be at least 46", for liability issues.

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Finally we have the Skyflyer tree. It got it's name because when you climb to the very top and look into the sky, you feel like you flying. This tree is privately owned and usually has a fee to climb. We recommend you be at least 48" tall, that way you can reach every branch safely.

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Edited by Titan
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Thank you for the feedback guys and gals! Glad to know that you guys/gals enjoy it. I've finished all of Action Zone and that's all I'll probably be able to do for tonight. However tomorrow I will start on Oktoberfest. I'd also like to thank The Crypt for allowing me to use some of his photos.

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