coasterville

Well, they tried the carnival style sideshow last year at Halloween Haunt. It was not renewed for this year, make of that what you will. Paramount had magic shows during their tenure as park operator, but hey why not, that would be a great use for the *Enchanted* Theatre. (Assuming that CarnEvil is not setup in their year round) Has there been a show in that venue since Scooby Doo moved in next door? Unfortunately - I think theme park entertainment has gotten to the point where it is associated with "song and dance" revue. That said, I'm all for variety, if the can mount a successful non-music based show, more power to them.

I went out to haunt last night, and speaking of the roamers - We were in line for the Skyline in Coney Maul and there was a gap between us and the people up at the window and a scare-actor came sliding in right between us and the people ahead of us. It was one of the guys on wheels or something that seemed to to a nose dive almost lying on the ground when he slid in and then back out. Talk about getting you when you least expect it, I didn't expect the area in front of the food counters to be fair game for haunting. Overall I liked the event including the roamers, I as there right at opening and after getting in the main gate it was fun watching people getting through the gate. (They were doing their wall of monsters type approach) There were way more roamers walking the midways than I remember in the past. The Phantom Theatre set on the bandstand was great. We wound up doing Urgent Scare, Trail of Terror, Cornstalkers and Worksite. (Along with riding lots of rides) I thought Urgent Scare was really well done, both in transforming the space from a motion theatre with stadium seatng, into a huant, and the quality of the haunt itself. The vibrating floor 'elevator' waiting room to see the doctor, and then I thought when we left the building the haunt was over, but no it continues all the way up the exit trail. So its got an outdoor element as well. It as funny I had just mentioned how effective it is to scrape a piece of metal against the pavement, when just around the next corner somebody was doing just that. I liked the person right as you exit the building who is up on a ledge in a harness and swings out over you (or almost into you). Is the action theatre queue area part of the haunt, I was confused even though it was a walk on there were scareactors roaming the unused side of the queue urging us to continue on to the hospital. We had just entered past the greeter in that first covered tunnel and there was a group *runing* back up the hill . Scared off *that* easy??? Trail of Terror seemed to be pretty much like last year,but with no less than 3 chainsaw wielding maniacs. Our trip through Trail of Terror was made a lot better as the group we got put up with was of the type that seemed squeamish and would freak out at the slightest thing. I was just about to proclaim Worksite weak until we came to the shipping container, that one stunt made up for the whole rest of it. Cornstalkers - I'm glad they finally made use of Timberwolf for Haunt, that outer trail is a natural. You have to watch out for those moving cornstalks the ones that move back and forth to keep you from advancing.

TR: Halloween Haunt at Kings Island - 9/28/07 TR: Halloween Haunt at Kings Island September 28, 2007 Mason, OH T-Shirt of the day: Knoebel's Phoenix Phall Phunphest sweatshirt - the black one with the skeletons riding the Phoenix. Seemed appropriate for an amusement park Halloween event. ****************************************** This year, Cedar Fair announced that they were upgrading the already successful "Fear Fest" Halloween event at Kings Island to the bigger and better "Halloween Haunt" event. The event to include 13 horrifying attractions, including 7 haunted mazes, 3 Fear Zones (which may as well be haunted mazes due to how they are run), 2 special live shows, and 1 special ridefilm in the Action FX Theater. From the past, I know that opening day is really the best day to go, partially because it's in September and people really aren't in the mood yet, it's a Friday so they don't get the use of the parks rides all day before the event, and all that. With the circumstances of scary I-71 traffic on a Friday night, the desire to have dinner before arriving at the park, and other complications, I decided to leave for the event right after work. So I left work, threw the aforementioned sweatshirt on over my dress shirt and headed to the park with a meal stop along the way. Hmm, Skyline Chili! The event hours were 7pm-1am, so I thought I was doing great when I pulled into the parking lot around 6:45. I made my way to the front gate, passing a haunted parking tram with skeletons as crew and passengers, shortly beyond that I stopped. The line to get in was clear back to the parking lot. Looking things over it looked like they only had one, maybe two metal detectors in use. Then I realized that even the one line wasn't moving. Man, I'm glad I can use this season pass and don't need to waste more time getting a ticket. This is how the situation stayed until right around 7pm. Being back in the parking lot, I missed the much talked about "Wall of Monsters" opening show. On the other hand shortly after park opening security finally decided to come out and man the metal detectors, except I don't think all of them were security, some looked like managers who were more interested in getting people into the park than screening people. Thus, even though I was clearly far back in the original line, I was past security just a couple minutes past opening, and then I came to the front gate. The front gate had scareactors positioned next to the ticket takers so you had to come up close and personal with a scareactor to get into the park. As you might expect this slowed throughput down somewhat. I saw a clear path using the stroller gate in front of me, and scanned in that way. I had just noticed that some poor guy was getting the ultimate hot seat with an electric chair positioned where the map rack usually is when I started feeling vibrations in my own pocket. Uh oh, what can this be. I pulled the cell phone out of my pocket, and looked at the screen "Rideman", I'll take this call. Okay, seems Dave and April are also coming to the park tonight, but their arrival time is currently estimated at 9:00. We agreed to meet up somewhere then, and I proceeded to International Street. On International Street, this year instead of the tombstones memorializing attractions of the past, the flower beds instead tease the haunted attractions you will find in the park, with each section themed to and advertising a specific haunt. The bandstand has been themed to a haunted bar, the Tomb Raider statue has been decpaitated and the poor guy is being made to hold his own head. Welp, I guess since they won't be needing that statue next year if rumors are correct, so why not have a little fun with it before you send it back to Viacom, in pieces. I'm sure Viacom will love the alteration. Even the store windows have been redone. The coaster camp scene in front of the Emporium for instance has been changed to Death's office in a setting that stirred plenty of message board controversy with Death's hit list. With that, I decide to take the contrarian approach. I figure most people would be heading for the much talked about Club Blood, so I headed to Nick Universe. There was only one attraction open in Nick Universe, and that was CarnEVIL, which from reports is a slight retouch of the former Circus of Horrors. CarnEVIL was staged in a long disused space that used to be the Enchanted Theater, which was a live performance venue located next to the Phantom Theater dark ride. The queue was routed in through the Little Bill's Giggle Coaster queue, the went through some temporary switchbacks that were setup in front of the Giggle Coaster by its photo booth. I followed another party in to be the first group of the night. Except one person ahead of me decided to invoke the "I hate gratuitous walking" rule and jumped over the ropes, unfortunately the security guard who was there decided to be a stickler for the rules, and made the person go through the attraction exit, then back through the line again the correct way. Mind you the 6 of us were, in sum, everybody at the attraction. Then the grouper took us inside and passed out 3D glasses. We got the usual safety rules, then she hollered in a loud voice "The person wearing is being a troublemaker, make sure they get special attention". With that our esteemed troublemaker goes darting out the entrance as if the building was on fire. CarnEVIL is a good fit for Nick Universe. For one, it's the only haunt that has the lights on for most of the maze, all the better to see those special "3-D" patterns along the walls. I don't think this would scare anybody, unless you are of those people that has a distinct fear of clowns. The place is bright and cheery and themed to a fun house. You have the hall of doors, (plenty of good jump out opportunities there), a fortune teller, the light tunnel where you cross a bridge through a revolving drum and the light patterns along the wall make it feel like you are moving instead of the walls. My favorite scene in this one was the room that is all black with polka dots all over the walls, standing dead ahead of you is a scare actor dressed up in exactly the same pattern as the walls, add a strobe light to that and you have a great effect, such a good effect that it has been a staple in haunted houses in the area for quite some time. On the way out, you are allowed to keep your glasses, or toss them in a bin. I note nothing special or collectible about the glasses, so I toss them in the bin, and go up the exit ramp which comes out by the Scooby Doo Meet and Greet. With that, I have Nick Universe out of the way. I walk through what literally seems like an empty park until I come into Rivertown. The only other guest I see is someone who is just being admitted to Redbeard's Revenge, and then the door closes and I am literlly the only guest, I do a panoramic 360 look at the area. Strange. I head to Redbeard's Revenge, which is a make over and retheme of last year's Cowboy Carnage. I note the former General Store is NOT a part of the attraction, except its porch and the entire pathway between the general store and the little sign carver's booth (man, I remember when that was the Rib Pit!) was filled with a rope queue maze for RedBeard's. Duly noting what happens when you try to short circuit the unneeded portion of the queue maze, I dutifully grumbled as I walked through the entire thing, did I mention it was empty? When I got to the gate, I got some grief for being alone. "Ya should have brought a crew with Ye" Soon enough the gate was opened, and I made the lone journey into the unknown. The first part of the attraction is outdoors in the space formerly used as the Back Porch Stage. I admit this area didn't quite work well in bright sunlight. About 30 seconds into the haunt, one of the Scareactors calls out to me by name. Did I leave my ID Badge on? A quick check reveals I did not. Creepy. I make my way at a fast clip though the boat dock themed outside area, as there was really nothing to obscure the path. Then I headed into the former Mining Company building which is the inside of the haunted pirate ship. The transition from sunlight to a dark building was brutal on the eyes, and I needed a bit of guidance to find my way into the indoor maze. Ah yes, this is more of a haunt than the fun filled CarnEVIL. I think my favorite scene is when you see, I think its the captain's wife looking all pretty in bed and just as you are looking at her someone else pops there head in through a slot right above the bed telling you to get moving on. Distraction, its a wonderful device in haunting. So I made my way through the haunted pirate ship and soon find myself back out on the midway next to Wings. I headed through a sparsely populated Rivertown, noting that the log flume and white water canyon are closed as well as all the Nick rides. I cross the bridge and look at the train station. There is a haunt tied into the train ride that is infamous for being really bad at capacity. So bad, its been encouraged to try to ride it when it first opens. Well, it's not open yet, as its an outdoor haunt, so it doesn't open till 8pm, by which time it should be dark. I check my watch and it's like 7:20. I note nobody is in line yet, so I decide to chance it and go ride Beast. I note Tomb Raider is still closed, and head to Beast. I start wondering if Beast is open as I head up into the station. There might have been two people sitting in The Beast train, I jump into the second seat, and soon the three of us are off on a Beast ride. It wasn't a particularly noteworthy Beast ride, but it killed a few minutes. But tonight is more about the Haunts not the rides. After Beast, I remind myself how thankful I am that the fence between The Beast exit and Beast entrance has been removed. This meant I was able to get back to check on the train station without going up and down hills. Still no line for the train. I take another chance, and head to a walk on Italian Job. Okay, they had a few people but everybody fit inside the station, and with the small crowd, I got in the front seat line. Italian Job gives airtime in only one seat, the front seat. So I had a rare thing, an Italian Job ride with airtime. Still, as I said, this isn't really about the rides. I head back to the train station. This time there is one family in line, and a check of the watch reveals 7:50. I get in line for Tombstone TERRORtory. The usual train ride queue area has been augmented with a huge rope queue maze set out in front of the train station. At first we are held at the start of the queue maze until just before 8pm. At that time we are walked through the rope part of the queue maze but told to wait in front of the ice cream stand. 8:00 comes, 8:00 goes, and a train goes empty, after the train is out of view, we are invited into the train station. We go through the normal train queue area and a rope has been setup down the middle of the train station so in effect you go through the turnstiles, then have to walk all the way to the potato works end, then all the way back to the canyon end. In theory they will only open the loading gate at the far end. A train arrives, and the one gate is open, we board the train, just in time to see the impatient crowd open all the other station gates and start a mass crush towards the train. How did they NOT forsee that happening. Anyway the train was loaded, and they seemed to take their own sweet time about it too. I don't think we pulled out of the station till 8:15. During the train ride the narrator tells you a rather lame ghost story to kill time. At least they have dropped the charade of the train breaking down, now the story is you have arrived in some abandoned ghost town. Ah, that does work better considering the train does stop at a train platform. You know that train platform you see on the left just past white water canyon wihen you ride the train, thats where the train stops and they tell everybody to get off the train. You exit to the platform then the directions were to exit the train and go to the left through the gate, well there are gtes at both ends, and I followed a crowd that went through the gate to the right into the grass field where the pumpkin patch is during the day. I think the crew is learning they have to take more control of the crowd as they didn't sound that happy. So we walked through the grass field and rejoined those that took the proper gate. The train returns to Rivertown empty. You are then led down a paved road, and I know what is coming, so I am jockeying for position all the way down the road, but so are other people. At the end of the paved road, you cross over the railroad tracks, and go through a service gate that leads to the very back of the White Water Canyon observation area. The back part of the observation is a queue area where you again have to wait in line. Seems that now that they brought hundreds of people here at a time, they now want to group you into small groups. This works out about as well as you might expect, and soon you realize that its now 8:20, you were on the first train out, and you are now standing in a 10-15 minute line. In short this takes almost 45 minutes to get through, even with no line in front of you at the train station, I also suspect going back and getting back on the train is not an option. They dutifully group us into our group, and we enter the walking part of the haunt. Which has some old west themeing and winds through the canyon observation area. Then they have what could have been the feature of the haunt, its a simple device where they have a small one person wide tunnel built with several sheets of burlap about 2' apart, oh and they are constantly blowing artificial smoke into this contraption. So you can't see whats ahead, you are worried that just beyond that next burlap sheet is a scene worse than death, but all in all nothing jumps out at you in this device. What actually happens is that people take it so apprehensively that they are going through it one at a time, and a huge bottleneck forms trying to get through it. This means that by the time you get out of it at the other side, the rest of the haunt is a long 'conga line' of people. Which means for the majority of the haunt you just have one long solid parade of guests going down the White Water Canyon exit path. From here on out the scareactors are innefectual at best, because you can see ahead what is going to happen, you just don't know who its going to happen to. I think it richly deserves the rating of SUCKFEST it received in the message boards. Oh it had its moments like the hanging heads in the covered bridge, or jumping up at you on the rampway up, but all in all this one did not end with a "It's over already!", it ended with a "Thank goodness thats over with" Well Rivertown is out of the way. Anyway Rivertown is now the shrine to dead attractions tht was moved from International Street. It also has its moments like the BBQ across from the pizza parlor. Except its cannibals bbqing other humans. For a time, the Chick-Fill-A sign was moved to this area, and "Eat more Chicken" was changed to "Eat More Human" That disappeared, so I am supposing Chick-Fill-A told Cedar Fair that contrary to its "No limits" advertising,t here are some limits. I head up into Coney Mall (Coney Maul for the event), and brreze through so fact I fail to reaize the overriding theme of the area. I head to Death Row, and by now I have caught up to the crowd. The line for Death Row was wrapped back to just after The Racer underpass. For those that remember the former haunt in this area (the asylum), the entrance and exit have been reversed, so you now enter through the door next to Firehawk, and exit through the door next to Racer. Death Row was also when the effects of the VIP Media Night promotion started showing. You see, members of the press and other VIP guests were accorded front of the line privileges, instead of having a private media night as had been done in past years. So the line moved even slower than it would normally, as I seemed to hit this at about the same time as the media. But it wasn't a bad place to be stuck, they had setup a stage in front out Flight of Fear and had a DJ there, and the DJ was trying to get people to embarrass themselves by getting up on stage and dancing. That and the guest services people who were running the media event were working at getting regular guests grouped so everybody was ready to go by the time we got to the door. Here a convict gives the safety speech, and tells us that they have Paris Hilton and OJ Simpson inside, Welcome to Death Row, as you enter he screams "We have FRESH FISH!" Death Row, unlike the other haunts, is a true maze, complete with dead ends and everything. Its a maze made up of chain link fencing, mirrors, and black curtains, some of which you can go through, and some of which you can't. It's very diorienting and confusing, add to that a constant loud alarm siren, the fact that the only lighting in the maze is strobe lighting, and it can start to create a sense of panic almost immediately. I noticed that in this, as in other mazes, the mandated "Hands on the shoulder of the guest in front of you" lasts for maybe 15 seconds. In this maze, more than in other mazes, the group you enter with and the group you exit with may be two different things, as when people realize its a maze people seem to follow their own hunches. I think I score points for finding an off limits part of the maze, we pushed through a black curtain, and found an ordinary looking water cooler and some chairs, then we pushed through another black curtain and had started to continue our tour when the scareactors informed us we went the wrong way through a restricted area, and have to go back through and follow along the correct path. By the end of that experience, I most wanted to put that constant siren out of my misery. The scareactors here are mostly about keeping order in the maze, with the confusing panic enducing maze being the main attraction here. I exited out the door nearest Racer, and started to head towards Trail of Terror or whatever its called now, when I felt that familiar vibration in my pocket. Ah, Dave and April are inside the park, we agree to meet in the middle of Coney Maul by the path back to X-Base. They take a little longer to get to me as they could not resist a walk on Drop Zone ride on the way back. We all meet, and we all head to Flight of Fear as a group. The Flight of Fear line is back to the entrance door, but it is going the short way. While waiting for Flight of Fear, April tells me she is sad to hear I can't make it to Knoebles. Hey, I was waiting for a perfect lead in, and April just handed it to me, I make the announcement that contrary to what I told Dave Monday, I AM in for Phall Phunphest next weekend. There was much joy and celebration and a little planning going on, which means the 20 minute wait for Flight of Fear went by like it was a few seconds. First I take a solo ride in the front seat, then Dave and April take the next train. If it weren't for that full stop on the mid course brake this would be a great ride, but remember today isn't about the rides. After Flight of Fear, we head to Trail of Terror. To get to Trail of Terror you go through a service gate between Firehawk and Death Row, then down the long path to the Trail. Well first you have to pass the insulter in the little house that used to be Scrooge's house at Winterfest. I won't get onto the insulter except to say that element of Haunt has caused more controversy, flame wars, thread deletions, hurt feelings than anything else here. I'll just say that making fun of peoples handicaps should never be fair game, even if it is a "no limits" event. You know, usually when there is someone on a midway paid to insult you, the patron usually has a means of retalliation, there was no such outlet here. Yep, the insulter is usually sitting in a dunk tank, and they are paid to insult you to the point where you lay down good money to throw a baseball at a stiff target in the small chance of sending the insulter into a tank of what you hope is ice cold water. It took a good 20-30 minutes wait for Trail of Terror, and you wait in a single file line down a service road to the entrance of the trail. To add further uneasiness there was somemysterious object making noise behind the chain link fence along the road. Eventually we were admitted to the Trail of Terror, it has a bunch of redneck themed scenes involving outhouse humor and so forth. This is where Micheal Vick's doghouse was moved to (it was along the midway in Action Zone) I though the outhouse labeled "Marshall University" was a bit gratuitous, must have been a UC fan/student that added that touch after their team lost to Marshall a week before the event. They did the usual gross looking port a potties, where the door opens and you get wet. Part of it was a hillbilly wedding, and here two the walking through dangling skulls was an element. Anther noteworthy element was the crawl, here you were expected to crawl through a dank dark musty sewer pipe for a ways, there never was a payoff to this other than walking crawling through a sewer pipe and feeling vulnerable, unlike the crawl in the old Curse of the Crypt where you crawled over a glass floor which lit up to reveal live snakes. I can also report there was a bypass for those that couldn't take it. This haunt ended with our first encounter with the chainsaw weilding maniac of the night, which had you running out of the train, right into the loving caring home of the Insulter. After Trail of Terror, we stopped for some soft drinks and cheese coneys at Skyline, before continuing our little tour. Next up was Worksite, called a FearZone, it works like a maze. Instead of open access from either end as the fear zones used to be, they have been turned into one way paths, with a grouper at the start grouping people into small groups, which therefore means they have a queue area. There was a very short line by Antique Treats, and I love the fact they used an electronic road constnstruction sign as the marquee. This is the work zone from hell, with upended police cars, and construction equipment, and of course chainsaw guy was here as well. Orange barrels defined the pathway, and we found the whole thing so pointless we were breezing through it when a Scareactor said "Slow Down! You are proceeding too fast through this zone!" So we stopped to let the group ahead of us get some distance "I didn't say to STOP!!!" Well, make your mind up, either we follow right behind the group ahead of us or we don't. Worksite was pretty stupid. What was stupider is that the line for CornSTALKERS was backed up up the hill and back to the Tomb Raider statue. Sure, we wanted to get to Italian Job, but not have to wait in that line to to it. We headed around Eiffell Tower to get back to Coney Maul, when we realized Cemetary, another Fearzone, was a walk in. Cemetary was setup in the old Paramount Story, or Tower Gardens before that. As soon as we entered Cemetary, we noticed something. All the scareactos were huddled in one spot talking with each other since they were obviously very bored. No other guests were in the entire haunt. They all had to dash out to their places, and then since nobody came in after us, they proceeded to all follow us through the maze. We were laughing so hard at how lame this was, then we found the exit and came out next to the Attitudes shop, which again this year is offering the "Have your photo taken lying down in a coffin" photo op. From here we walked down Coney Maul noting the old Phantom Theater props as well as some pieces from other former Hana Barbera rides that did not make the transition to Nick Universe. The highlight of the area was the area in front of the Skeeball building, where the Carnival from Hell was setup. With a skeleton ticket seller, you entered an area where they had Whac-A-Skull instead of Whac-A-Mole, (no not to play, they were just props, other palces like Kennywood would have had an actual Whac-A-Skull game at their event if they wanted one), Scatterball had eyeballs in the game instead of the usual silver balls, peach basket had hollowed out stuffed animals as prizes. Posters advertised sideshow acts. Then there were the food concessions, the soft pretzel warmer had snakes in it, the shaves ice machine had something that was meant to be shaved flesh, the soft drink booth had a fountain head with such products as "Backwash", "Vomit", "Dr. Phleghm" "Snot Zero", "Blood" and "Diet Sewage" We proceed to take rides on Beast and Italian Job, before heading up Coney Mall towards Oktoberfest. Its 12:30 when we come across a closed Adventure Express, then we go take a ride on Delirium. Finally at 12:45 we head to a closed Top Gun. Here, "Rideman" decided to go ride Son of Beast, while April and I tour Club Blood. There was maybe a one group wait for Club Blood. It also explained why Top Gun was closed, becuase Club Blood took over Top Gun's queue line, so you went down to the Top Gun chicken chute, then walked back the Top Gun line in reverse. Tonight there were being merciful and had a gate open just past the underpass. Club Blood is the newest maze, in a brand new building loctated behind Extreme Ekyflyer. It is the much talked about R rated haunted maze. We enter and first you head down an ally towards Club Blood where the actors talk openly about drugs and the like, then you pass a bouncer to enter the club where scantily dressed women are doing exotic dancing and cages and poles are invovled but they do keep their clothes on. Hey, this is a family park after all. You then go though the very gross haunted clubs bathroom, where some ppor schmuck is worshiping a very nasty looking toilet. The second half of the attraction seems to be a haunted hospital, and the key scene is a nurse appearing to give head to a cadaver. Scary, no, risque yes, and potentially disturbing, yes. It winds up that we all met back up by the EXtreme Skyflyer at about the same time. We noted that Skycoaster was priced at only $5, so we decided to ride Skyflyer, mind you it is like 12:55 on a 1AM close. We buy our tickets, and get in line behind maybe 3-4 groups in front of us in line plus the ones inside the attraction. They only had one side of Skyflyer open, and only a minimal crew. That means they same people that were walking groups out to a flight area (and they were using the FAR one by Drop Zone too), and guiding them through their flight, were also the ones running the harness shed. At first they were literally taking one group at a time all the way through the process before starting on the next group. We inquired about just calling the whole thing off and getting a refund, but they would not go for that. So finally, I guess when the waiting line to just us and the next group and us, they take both groups in and gets us harnessed up. Then they walk us out to to the flight area. By the time we are invited to walk out onto the lift, it is 1:45 by my watch, The park has been closed for 45 minutes, and security is standing at the Skycoaster booth eager to get the area clear. The Skycoaster crew is also none to pleased to be working 'overtime'. They had little patience for our silliness, but we eventually start our way up to the top of the launch tower. We get a countdown, do I pull on command, of course not. I like to catch my groups off guard. He He. So we fly, and after having only made 3 or 4 swings, they are already all "Grab this loop when you fly back over" What, already, we still have tons of speed and momentum behind us. Now, I KNOW they probably think we were being smart asses and not cathing the ring, but the honest truth was that we were honestly trying to catch the ring that they were holding just a little bit out of reach, and we were going too fast. Avert trying this like 4 times, they grab the manual pole. At least the guy with the manual pole seems to know the right hight to hold it, the bad news is he was trying to stop a LOT of pounds of coaster nuts swinging. That approach failed when he let go of the pole just before wiping out on the lift. Yep, the Skycoaster crew REALLY loves us now. But eventually we get stopped, and escorted out. We turn in the harnesses and they shoo us out right into the waiting arms of security who gives us a personal escort out to the parking lot, seeing as the park is already all closed and cleared except for us. Next up: Knoebels Phabulous Phoenix Phall Phun Phest.

Yes, and they also had that same Lasagna in the employee cafeteria on occasion. It was a Stouffer's product, and can still be purchased in stores. In fact, thats still the brand I purchase when I want a Lasagna at home.

Hmm, with the Friday's rumor, I have heard so many people say International Restaurant to become Fridays, but considering the relatively small seating area and its use as a special events facility for the park. I wonder, since the Wings Buffet always looks underutilized, and the buffet food they have in there is about high school cafeteria quality, I wonder if THAT is where they intend to put Fridays? The only thing that makes that buffet work is the fact that if you just want a sandwich, fries and a drink anywhere else in the park you are up to $10-$11. Makes the $15 for that buffet seem almost reasonable in comparison. Yes, though, I remember when outside on International Restaurant, Columbia Palace was considered to be the best dining in the park. At least we are starting to progress just a tiny bit away from the Paramount dark years when it seemed like the only food in the park was burgers, pizza, and skyline. The burgers they sell now aren't even as good as the KECO burgers. I remember going to Coney Cafe (where Happy Days is now) and the burgers there always seemed to be freshly grilled with fresh toppings and everything. It reminds me of something I learned when I took the Keys to the Kingdom tour down at the Magic Kingdom a couple years ago. Someone in our group asked what changed with Food Service at Disney. In the 80s and the early 90's Disney food was not something you looked forward to, it was more of a "We have to eat", but now the dining at Disney is as much of an attraction as the attractions themselves. The response was Disney got rid of Central Kitchens, it used to be all the food for say the Magic Kingdom was cooked in one kitchen then delivered to the various stands and put in a warmer, now they have reopened the kitchens at each food stand, and each eatery is cooking their own food.

Althought the bottled water idea can be part of a larger solution. I thought I heard where some restaurant chains are starting to use bottled water in place of the tap water they would usually serve, as a way to reduce water usage on the local systems. Unfortunately, in this case I don't think all the usual water conservation tactics are going to do the trick, though they surely can't hurt. Even if instead of bottled water, you started brinign in water from other cities in tanker trucks to refill the water works reserviors, can you bring it in fast enough to keep up with demand? And if the entire region is affected, from how far away would you have to source that water. Again you get back to the practicality. Both finding enough trucks/drivers to run the water brigade, and being able to do so at a cost that people can live with. It's a tricky problem, it will be interesting to see how this one plays out. And it sounds like, going off the base post, that Atlanta is supplying parts of Flroida and Alabama, well when Atlantas supply runs out, its not going to be just Atlanta hurting, its also going to be all the cities that get served by Atlanta. It seems irresponsible to me, that those downstream (as it were) cities aren't putting any water conservation ordinances in effect, I mean if you know your cheif supplier may run out, it would seem to be in their best interest to stockpile their own supplies, or just using less overall, which would help the common supply last longer. I haven't really been following this issue, but is this a short term problem where there is an end in sight, or more long-term?

Yeah, all of the above are reaosns why I typically either opt to leave it all in the car in the first place (and do purpose specific photo safari's when the mood strikes) when a non-riding partner is not available. If the car option isn't practical, I have been goign with the fanny pack. Sure they may not be fashionable and might get you labeled as nerdy, but they get the job done when it comes to holding loose articles. The courtesy boxes on the coaster platforms should be your last resort, and even that is pushing it. Of course the fanny pack option won't work at Holiday World as they have some phobia against those, but they do offer free secure lockers on the coaster platforms where you get a key. I wouldn't put anything in the losse article bin on the platform that you are emotionally or financially attached to...

You may also want to try the thread tittled "Official Bare Bones Nights Info" In addition to those six rides, 5 haunted mazes will be open: Club Blood, Massacre Manor, Death Row, Redbeard's Revenge, and CarnEVIL. anything open beyond that, I would consider a nice surprise. If you have a pass, remember the bring a friend for $9.95 offer, if you don't have a pass, remember to pre order e-tickets on the web for $14.95 if you aren't using a pass, or the passholder bring a friend promotion, check the offers on pki.com. Also, I just checked, isf you are a 2008 passholder, you ARE allowed to use your one free 2007 visit on a Bare Bones night if you have not already exercised the privilege. According to another thread, they are collecting the pesky $10 parking fee.

The quesition is - is the PR department and the Admission department talking to each other? We have heard varying stories about the ability to use/not use the bring a friend discount, and even different rules for how that offer works depending on which ticket clerk you get. On a seperate topic - I processed my Platinum Pass on Saturday using an e-Ticket, and my e-Ticket was NOT collected and I was told to use that as my jacket voucher, other people going through other lines were getting real jacket vouchers off of a pad of vouchers. Others have said if you are renewing a 2007 pass you don't have to get a new photo taken. I presented my 2007 pass and the e-ticket and was asked to take a new photo. First they tell us the jackets come out October 28, then the website AND my voucher read Starting Nov 5. Trip Reports from yesterday say people were handed the actual jackets. Had I known that, I would have collected it yesterday, now I have to make a special trip, which becuase I actually WORK means I can't get there till Saturday which means the choice sizes will be gone. The only thing consistent in Admissions is inconsistency.

I must be insane, but I too am making the trek there today. The Fear Feast is sold out, I just tried to book that, don't know if that is any indication as International Restaurant doesn't hold that many. But then I just need Massacare Manor and Corn STALKERS to complete the set. Oh, and I haven't seen Dead Awakening or Torture Chamber yet. My plan is to get there at noon, try to get some rides in, be at Massacre Manor (or its general area around 6, and when that line starts forming, jump into that line. Then maybe watch Elivra, then hit CornSTALKERS, then head to I-Street to catch the shows. Need to get me a show schedule. Anytime left after shows goes to more rides.

Recall the International Restaurant has entrances both inside and outside the park, so no need to let you into the park early. However, I do suspect they will check for a valid park admission ticket or pass along with a valid dinner ticket at the door to the restaurant. (Which may require going through the turnstiles anyway). I suspect they will have portable barriers setup so you can go through the front gate and to the door of the restaurant but no further.

So if they look exactly the same, that means the photos will not be on the ID cards again this year? I suppose the Platinum Pass will look a bit different as it has a new name and privileges, so they have to revise the fine print on the back.

Then again, there are us procrastinators (user raises hand). I still haven't decided which tier of 2008 pass I am buying, much less purchased and processed it. The one visit in 2007 offer seems like a way to fix the "But Paramount let us use our next year's pass this year" complaints. The bring a friend discount really works out well on Sundays. On Friday and Saturday its $5 even the web advertised price, on Sundays it is worth $10 off. Any word on if there will be an offer on Bare Bones Nights? (I assume a season pass is valid on Bare Bones Nights)

Further to what Haunt Guy just said: In the haunted "mazes", expect to be sent in with a small group of about 6-10 people. Further, they will ask the group to put their hands on the shoulders of the person in front of them, forming a mini conga line. (Not to be confused with reports that say a maze was in conga line mode, most often seen on Trail of Terror in past years, where the line gets so overwhelming that they just start sending everybody through in one continuous line, hands on shoulders) AS far as getting hurt, that shouldn't be a concern. In Ohio, the actors of a haunted attraction are prohibited from touching you, and in return they ask that you not touch the actors. You won't be asked to do anything more than walk along a hallway or trail in the dark. No ladders, rope climbs, very limited use of stairs. There is one crawl tunnel, but as has been said, you can ask to bypass it. The main dangers are if you can't handle artificial fog or smoke or if flashing and strobe lighting bother you, you may want to stay away.

I did go last night as I said I would. I missed the "Wall of Monsters"opening show as the line for the metal detectors was back into the parking lot when I arrived at 6:50. At first it looked like they were only going to have only 2 lanes, but they soon opened more. There were monsters all through the front gate plaza, but I spotted a no line wait to go in through the stroller gate by GR, and opted to take it and get into the park. I headed to CarnEVIL first, and was on the first group through CarnEVIL. I'm not one of those people who are scared by clowns, but I liked the rolling light tunnel,and the room where the scareactor is dessed in a costume that matches the pattern on the walls. Next was RedBeard's, I walked up to it, and wound up getting a private tour as there was no one else in line. I got recognized by one of the scareactors, and overall thought it was decent, with the mix of both outdoor and indoor elements, favorite scene was when I was looking at the woman pirate in bed, wondering what she was going to do, when a male pirate pops out from the back of the bed, I then had time to kill, so rides on Beast and Italian Job, then I got to Tombstone Territory in time to be on the first train out. I have to second the post that this as a suckfest. The train ride was nothing but a ghost story, then even with being on the first train out, I was in the wrong part of the train, and it still took about half hour to get thrrough the line in the back. One problem is that it seemed like they were using full trains. It's a capacity nightmare, and then you get funneled out the white water canyon exit, and it just seemed so lame. Nobody jumping out, the cool parts woould be the part where you have a burlap swatch every 2' and there are like 10 in a row, and its all fogged up and you are waiting for something to happen, but it doesn't. It was just a major time sink, for little results. Then headed over to Death Row. A real maze where you can get lost, but the constrant strobing and alarm siren got old REAL fast. I was eager to get out of there just to prevent a real nasty headache. Man that was unpleasant. Found an unauthorized shortcut through an area that had a water cooler and stuff for the staff. After 5-10 solid minutes of strobes and sirens, if I would have seen an emergency exit, it would have been awful tempting... Rode Flight of Fear, then did Trail of Terror. I liked the trail this year, lots of good stuff. The sewerpipe was full of anticipation but no payoff, but yet the haunt seemed longer than most, and had a lot more action going on. As an added bounus, you have the insulter guy as you start into line. Liked the carnival from hell display out in front of the Skeeball building. Worksite was pretty lame, and Cemetary, well the folks working Cemetary looked bored as no body was going through it, when we entered they all had to run to their places from being hudlled up in one spot chit chatting. More rides - Italian Job, Beast, Delirium. Then we finsihed up regulation time with a trip through Club Blood. R rated and risque yes, scary no. We then ended the night being the last group on SKyflyer - finally getting on the ride at 1:45AM!!! All in all the haunts themselves I didn't see that much of an upgrade over Fear Fest, what was changed was the massive amounts of props and stuff along the walkways, literally stuff everywhere you look.

I plan on being there tonight (Friday). Looks like given how cool its been the last few nights, I may go for the Phoeni Phall Phunhest sweatshirt, its got a design with skeletons riding the Phoenix. Seems so fitting! So what are anybody's strategies in the quest to cover as many haunts as one can in one night? I see two schools of thought here, one would be to start in Coney Mall, and the other would be focussed on Nick/Rivertown. I recall that train ride/ haunt is a bear, so may want to get that one out of the way early. I'm not sure which direction I am heading, I do know that my target is to see all 7 mazes. If I can get those done say by 10:30-11:00 go for the "Scarezones", but make sure to get done by midnight to see both live shows. I better get to bed now, got to have the stamina to deal with haunted attractions till 1AM! I HOPE things go well, and I may also be able to work in a coaster ride or two...

(User treads lightly into this topic as it is usually a hotbed for sore feelings) I think the problem here is that our parks are being overtaken by, how do I say this in the nicest possible way, being overrun by those with little to no respect for the rules or how people are supposed to act in a civilized society. To stay on topic, what we have here is a perk that for a long time had become an industry standard, that of allowing, what the current "Comittee on Acceptable Epusieums", call "Special Needs Guests" courtesy priority access to the attractions. True, these policies probably started due to the simple fact that ride queue areas were not disigned to accomoate wheelchairs, and rahter than come up with some Rube Goldberg-ish rservation program, the parks decided to quietly admit those needing spcial acces to the ride to enter via the exit, and without waiting. I'm sure the underlying thought was a) its the right thing to do to show compassion for our fellow man, and this allows the person the additional time needed, and c) the number of people who will avail themselves of the perk will be so small, that it won't casue a stir in the operation for the ride. Unfortunately, there also exists an aleged group of people, who have figured out how to bend the par's hospitality to their own advantage. Which is a shame really, because now to eliminate the abuse, they have to "throw the baby out with the bath water" and eliminate the perk entirely, even to those for whom it was intended. I recall that for a long time, a standing policy at Dollywood was that if you were "Special Needs" you did not pay admission to park. Your admission was courtesy of Dolly Parton as a gesture of good will. Unfortunately, for that program, someone complained about it to the wrong person, and Dolly's lawyers advised her to discontinue that perk. Excuse me, if I am the owner of the park, I think I am entitled to grant courtesies and complimentaries as I see fit. But the whole "feigning disability" for the sake of skipping to the front of a lie comes from a phenomenon I call "Generation: Now" As in "I want it all, and I want it NOW!" (and to heck with what anybody else) We see how well that worked out for Veruca Salt in the classic alegory set in a certain chocolate factory. In the end, now we have to manage the park rules to the worst of people, instead of to the best of people. That said, Kings Island is the only place I have seen guests get openly hostile against those who do opt to use the special needs entrances. Once was this year on Son of Beast, I witnessed a confrontation between a loader and a park guest. The loader came over to graciously explain the situation to those guests who would be impacted in order to allow a special needs guest to enter via the exit. Well, to say the least the park guests impacted did not take the news well, and became very confrontational and loud, causing a very awkward chill to fall over the Son of Beast platform. The loader decided he would better off seating the party in a different car, and the obnoxious park guest would not let it drop, practically celebrating in their victory. I would like to say that the obnoxious park guest was one of the punk teenagers who are all too common at the park these days, but unfortunately it wasn't. It was a father with his children. I sk you what kind of an example do you really want to set for your kids. "Kids, we are the most important people in the world, everybody else here is below us, we don't bend for anybody, even iif the people who think they are in charge here ask us to. Remember that, Your in this family, which means you yield to nobody" The other incident was a few years ago on Vortex, when there was, a much less heated than the confrontation described above, argument caused over the park giving a disabled rider two rides instead of one. (Which is, IIRC the park polciy, 1 ride in a front or back car, or 2 anywhere else) Whatever happened to courtesy, a representative of the park asks you nicely to wait just an extra 3 minutes so that someone who needs extra time and attention can ride. It used to be uspoken that of course you yielded.

TR: Kings Island with Wierd Al - 8/18/07 Trip Report: Kings Island Mason, OH August 18, 2007 *********************** Greetings, and welcome to another trip report. Man, I have to get better with the timlieness of posting these. Anyway, as you might note, it is yet another summer August Saturday, and yet again I am headed to Kings Island. This time, I'm not the one that's nuts, its the performer I am going to see who is nuts. This particular trip was strange in its planning. First, I receive an email slugged "Geauga Lake" with a message asking if I wanted to go to Kings Island on Sunday. I replied that I would, while pointing out the discrepency between subject and message. I got a response back that, oops, they did mean Geauga Lake, but that they we going to see Weird Al at Kings Island on the Saturday and asked if I had interest in that. Now, I have heard a fair amount of Weird Al's stuff, mostly through watching Robb Alvey's coaster videos. (Admit it Robb, you use a fair amount of Wierd Al in your soundtracks) So, I decided, that I would like to go see Wierd Al. The next subject was tickets, and according to Kings Island's website, season pass holders were eligible to purchase tickets for just $9.95. Remember that price, it plays into our story a bit later. So, I dutifully went out to TicketMaster, found out that yes the season pass offer was offered online, that there were plenty of seats left, and that the TicketMaster fees on an order of three tickets would total about $18. TicketMaster: You can't live with it, you can't live without it, thier business practices still suck. So, I report back to the group, and we decide to just wait until the day of show, and purchase the tickets at Kings Island as walk up sales. I then offer to handle the ticket purchasing as I knew the rest of the group were coming in from Columbus, and would be arriving fairly late in the day. In this case the group would consist of Dave Althoff Jr., April and myself. That was either Thursday or Friday night. Saturday rolls around, and for going to an amusement park, I was decidedly sluggigh and bordering on disinterested. After all, its nearing the end of August, its Saturday, the weather outside is beautiful, its one of the very few days in only the low 80's after having a fortnight or more of above 90 days. In other words, I knew perfectly well the park was going to be jam packed, and since i have the luxury of going on very slow days, i'm a bit spoiled when it comes to ride lines. So, I don't leave the house till almost 2, then I decide I am not paying for a Cedar Fair meal, so I stop at Wendy's on the way to the park, and they had a sizeable line, but it seemed to move at a decent rate. So after a relaxing meal at Wendy's, I head to the park and arrive just before 3:30 pm. I walk up to the front gate, and I must point out it has been 15 years or so since I have been to a concert at Timberwolf. I head to where they used to sell Timberwolf tickets, key word there being "used to". I have no trouble getting through security as I spot an open lane that everybody else seems to not be able to see. I head to the park gate, and find an admission lane that had just opened. I note the admissions person was personable, commenting on my shirt, a Xavier Musketeer Alumni shirt, which has bearing on the story as I noted on the big electronic sign out front, that it is "University of Cincinnati" day at the park. She also noted the Bengals shirt in my season pass photo. As I said, a friendly personable admissions person, then I head into the park and head directly to the Return Visit Offer booth. I somehow manage to dodge the Keyhole Photo ambush and arrive at the booth unscathed. Now. on the sign above the booth it tells me I can buy (emphasis mine) : Return Visit Offer, ***Concert Tickets***, Season Pass Upgrades. So I walk up to the one open window, and ask for 3 tickets for Weird Al. "We don't sell concert tickets here", I glaringly look up at the sign. "Yeah, I know, the tickets are out in the Group Sales Building" The person makes it clear that they are just as annoyed about that sign directing people to her booth as I am. So, argh, this means I have to go back out of the "secure zone". So I head back to the main gate, remembering to get a hand stamp. I note the park is back to using the "magic light" UV stamps, only they are different than before. Cedar Fair must have set them on the right course. Before they used an ink pad which looked like it contained some toxic green slime, and twhen they stamped it on your hand, they used copious quantities to the point where you could clearly see the yellow mark on your hand without the light, for hours to come. Now they use a more normal stamp pad, and the magic light ink disappears from view within seconds of being applied. So I exit the security gate, and head to the Group Sales building. I spot two lanes, one for will call tickets, and one to purchase tickets. I head to the window to purchase tickets, and ask for three Wierd Al tickets. No problem, I see tickets come out of the ticket machine. That will be $44.85 please. Wait, it says season pass tickets are only $9.95. I find out they are $14.95 when purchased at the park. So much for dodging the TicketMaster fees. I'm still sore over the park tacking on a $3.95 service charge for tickets to their own event, now they are tacking on a $5 service charge for concert tickets purchased at the venue. No wonder Cedar Fair attendance is down, between the hidden service fees, and the hideously overpriced concessions, they are actively trying to tick off their guests where it matters the most, in their billfolds. But, what am I to do, but fork over $44.85 instead of the $29.85 we had planned on. Tickets in hand, its time to head into the park. So, its back through security, again a short line, then I learn you can reneter with a handstamp at any lane, and that the lanes have been equipped with the lights. So, I am back into the park, and its like a robot boots up program "Kings Island solo touring program" I mean, I think I do the same thing, or attempt to do the same thing most every visit. Yep, I head to Delirium. There I find a full queue spilled out on the midway. I'll pass. I head to Face/Off, "Sorry, this ride closed...", Drop Zone "Sorry, this ride closed...", Son of Beast "Sorry, this ride closed..." I skip on Top Gun as it is such a long walk. I headed into Oktoberfest, note a healthy line for the Slingshot, and go to Adventure Express "Sorry, this ride closed..." Yep, Kings Island is making this walk through the park memorable for all the wrong reasons. I get around to Racer, and hey its open! The line is backed out onto the midway, but none of the switchbacks are open. I opt for a ride on Racer Forwards. The line moves at a reasonable pace, and when I get into the station, I find the usual congestion towards the front of the sttion allows me to score a seat with ease at the back of the station. While waiting to board, I note I have not seen Firehawk run. After the ride starts, I pay special note to look at Firehawk while going up the lift. Okay, no one in station, both trains parked in station, and no queue hanging out onto the mdiway. I'm not sure its closed, but it sure is exhibiting all signs of being closed as well. At least they did race the trains on The Racer. I had another reasonably smooth rides that exhibits hints at floater air. I think The Racer is running better this year than it has in several years. We return to the station, and I note Adventure Express is cycling test trains. I exit Racer, and head back to Adventure Express, and by the time I get there, the queue has been opened. I enjoy a walk on ride in the back seat. It's all about timing. Adventure Express has improved this season now that the special effects in the third and fourth tunnels have been restored, now lets work on the spears in the second tunnel, and whatever is supposed to happen in the first tunnel. (It's been so long, I forget), oh and the train warning bell at the start of the ride. Adventure Express is still running well, and except for having the service door open on the second enclosed lift, drowning the scene in light, it was a great ride on Adventure Express. How they managed to stack all three trains at the end of the ride, with 6 crew member on platform is a puzzlement. However, while riding Adventure Express, I saw Son of Beast testing. Can I pull off the "test rides walk on" again? I dash over to Son of Beast. Nope, the queue stil isn't open, and the lineis back to the Skycoaster harness shelter. But since it is stopped at the top of the ramp down, I figure to give it 15 minutes. About 10 minutes later, Son of Beast opens, but not before I notice another Cedar Fair Unscrupulous Business Practice. All season long, the posted regular price for Skycoaster has been $15. Now, they rarely charge that, as they seem to be running a $10 special most of the time, and on rare occasions you can even see a $5 special. Today I look at the big bright yellow Today's Special" sign - Limited time offer: $15!!! Wait that is the regular price, or so I thought till I looked over at the ticket booth, where THAT sign has been changed to read $20. Artificially raising the price to create the illusion of a sale, I tell you. Yes, I realize retail pulls that BS all the time, and some have gotten busted for it. But, back to what I was doing. We were then walked into Son of Beast, and when the dust cleared I was right up by the seat queues. I decided to forgo a walk on Son of Beast ride, and instead opt for this rumored excellent front seat ride. It would take about 8 trains to get into that magical front seat. Seems, just about everybody headed to that front seat lane. Rumour has it, that is the only seat that doesn't rough you up real bad. So my time comes, I board the train, and a ride operator jumps in with me "I need to give it a test ride" smirking the whole time. No problem, we head out onto the course. The rumours are correct! Up in the front seat, Son of Beast is wonderfully smooth. I don't think I have felt this ride run so good since maybe it's opening day so many years ago. It's still not a great coaster, but at least its ridable now, and the Gerstlauer trains actually allow real size Americans to fit comfortably. I exit Son of Beast, and decide to follow the rule. I headed to Top Gun. The line was back past the chicken chute, but not quite back to the tunnel under the service road. At least the had two trains on, so after a lengthy wait that I clocked at 45 minutes I was heading to the front of the back car. Top Gun is still a great, intense, smooth and SHORT ride. The longer you wait for it only stresses how short the actual ride is. As I am exiting Top Gun, I receive a phone call that the rest of the group was in the area, that they saw the parking lot and concluded the park was jammed. They indicated they were going to grab dinner and then come to the park. I figure dinner at Skyline is worth about 30 minutes or so. I purchase a Strawbeery/Banana Chill. YA know, I have managed to avoid the Lemon Chill craze for numerous years, I had one in preseason this year, and now I am hooked. "Hi, my name is David Bowers, and I'm a Lemon Chill addict" I enjoy my Strawberry/Banana Chill while perusing the International Street gift shops. I look at stuff, particularly in the Emporium, Thrillriders, and the "Clearance Sale Room" where they have taken all the old Paramount stuff. I admit, I alsmost bought some instant lottery tickets, except I could not see the cashier on duty. At around 6pm, I head to the main gate to meet April and Dave. As it would turn out, they didn't arrive at the park till almost 7pm. Some of that, however was due to finding a parking space in BFE and walking from BFE to the main gate since Cedar Fair discontinued the tram service. Come on, at least Paramount ran the trams on busy days. I was getting a bit nervous for them when shortly after 6pm (which is when you can enter the park on a concert only ticket), the admission gate was overwhelmed as they only had two lanes open, and the line to get in was backed up clear to the metal detectors. By 6:30 they had the full gate with all lanes open, and by the time Dave and April arrived they just walked right in. We then exchange greetings, along with money and tickets, then head into the park. Our first stop is the front gate gift shop to get some candy for the show. We then decide that since we have reserved seats, we can casually arrive at the concert just before it starts. We head to Adventure Express, and see that the queue looks to extend all the way back to the midway, but hey its Adventure Express, veven that is only about 20-30 minutes. We then learn that it is because some people ahead of us had STOPEED in the queue for whatever reason. When they finally decided to get the heck out of the way and let those of us who really wanted to ride past, the actual line was only about halfway through the bridge over the track. Not that much longer, and we are boarding Adventure Express in the back car. It was, like the first ride, a good ride on Adventure Express. By the time the ride ends, it is 7:20. I note my concert ticket says 7:30 as the start time. I hardly if ever attend rock shows, being more of a Pops/Symphony man myself. In my culture, when a ticket says 7:30, that means you are in your seat by 7:20 at the very latest. Dave and April convince me we have time for Racer, and so we head to Racer and the line is just back to the queue house. We wind up getting a back car ride on Racer. When The Racer ride ends, its 7:35. We then decide to head to Timberwolf. As we walk through Oktoberfest, I note that I can't hear the concert. Having worked at the park a long long time ago, I know that with most acts you can hear the show in Action Zone and Oktoberfest. We walk through Action Zone, still not hearing anything. The entrance to Timberwolf is back near Face/Off's entrance. So we present our tickets at the checkpoint which is located direcrly underneath Congo Falls. Man, Congo Falls leaked 13 years ago when I used to work here, and it STILL leaks. Some genius stationed the checkpoint right under the leaky spot. Kings Island has not invested in TicketFast, so they are still tearing tickets, then you step forward and some guy, in a not too nice manner is all "Left arm, Palm up!" then he applies a handstamp in black ink to the lower part of your arm, right above the wrist. The Timberwolf staff could be classed as being openly hostile. I attend concerts at Riverbend at Coney Island with some regularity and that venue is staffed with friendly people, and especially outgoing ushers who are willing to do just about anything for you. Here, they treat you like you are a nuisance to them. We head up into the seating bowl, skipping the refreshment and souvenir booths, and find the show has not yet even started. Its now 7:45pm. We dutifully head to our assigned seats. We head to Section 4 row Y and find out seats at extreme left. This is bad for a variety of reasons. One is Weird Al, like most shows these days has installed a video wall behind the set, and a substantial part of the show required seeing the video wall. The other is the park seemed to put everybody in one area of the theatre. In other words they packed the front in solid, while leaving the back a ghost town. (Well the center was filled most of the way back). We last in our assigned seats for about 3 minutes. We then realize that if we move just 5 rows back. we can sit on an aisle between the side and center section, with a lot more elbow room. We make the seat upgrade, and as luck would have it, never got approached either by an usher, or the rightful owner of those seats. In fact, I think others followed our lead. Note: the show still has not begun. At around 8PM, the show finally begins! The tour was the Straight out of Lynwood Tour, and as you might guess, it contained a lot of the Straight out of Lynwood album. He started with Polkarama, which is especially fitting for play in Cincinnati, as it starts out with the Chicken Dance. You cannot have a wedding reception or other similar social event in Cincinnati without the Chicken Dance. Now I don't remember the set list, or the order of the set list. (Back in my culture, I am used to being handed a set list on the way in) I do rememmber the highlights though. One thing is the format of the show. Weird Al believes in costuming to fit each song, and to cover up these costume changes, they either play segments from Al TV (specifically the celebrity mock interviews) on the video wall, or play segments from TV shows and movies that reference Wierd Al. Don't get me wrong, some of the mock interviews are funny. Like the guy that just kept saying "You know what I mean", followed by Al saying "I know what you mean" repeat ad nauseum, the other artist who didn't want to talk about anything related to their career, the other guy that hit on Wierd Al during the interview. In other words none of them are serious, and are part of the comedy being presented. The one to pay note of is in the early stages of the show, Wierd Al works with his guest, explaining that he, Wierd Al, can make a song out of just about anything. The guest says "We all have cell phones, so let's get real" And Weird Al sets that line to music. He then lets it drop, but you shouldn't, it comes back later. Rideman and I agreed that there were far too many video presentations for our taste. Other notable songs includes "You're Pitiful", the song he can do in concert but not record. During the song, in which he makes fun of others loser lifestyle, he changes t-shirts sevral times, by continually pulling off layers. One shirt proclaims "Atlantic Records SUCKS", and generally the shirts fit the lyrics. I don't know if its a standard part of the act, but he ended up in a Spongebob Squarepants shirt at the end of the song. Fitting for the park with the world's best kid's area, "Nickelodeon Universe". He then proceeds to remove his belt, and then his pants to reveal a pink skirt/tutu thing underneath. He still has the Spongebob shirt on. The audience goes crazy. Speaking of kids area, I was shocked at the number of families who came to this show as a family. Call me conservative, but while I was loving this show, and laughing it up, I would not take children to see this show. He also did, "Bob" a song that is written in all palindromes, or phrases that are spelled the same forwards and backwards. Just in case you have your doubts, they put the lyrics up on the video wall so you can see for yourself. It's a very clever piece of novelty work. For the nerdy, there is "It's All About the Pentiums" which has the IT people in the audience, such as ourselves laughing. But all in all he did several of his hits, "eBay" about peoples addictions to eBay, a song about Spiderman sung to the tune of "Piano Man", noteworthy as Wierd Al doesn't have Billy Joels harmonica holder, instead someone else had to hold it for him. In one song Wierd Al came out dressed as Gilligan singing "I'm in love with the Skipper" while clips from Gilligan's Island played, and there was a song about the Flintstones, while Flintstones clips played. I think a most noteworthy part of the show came about halfway through. I noticed about a hlaf hour into the show, the night novelty people started working the aisles, except the only novelty they had were Star Wars style light saber light ups. Then I noticed, it wasn't the children buying these, it was full grown adults with no children with then buying them. About halfway through the show, after sundown, the stage was overtaken by Imperial Stormtroopers, then Wierd Al comes out dressed like a Star Wars character and does "The Saga Begins" to the tune of American Pie, eventually joined on stage by Darth Vader. Ah, now the light sabers make sense. As not only is the audience waving their light sabers around, but there are also light saber duels going on up on stage. Even with all that thetricality, I just about lost it when during the peppy part of the song, the Stromtroopers started getting down and dancing. Weird Al quickly followed this song up with "Yoda" , to the tune of "Lola" another Star Wars themed song about everybody's favorite little green runt. Admit it, I know when I was watching Attack of the Clones, the whole theatre went nuts when the seeming fragile Yoda busted out a light saber and started kicking ass. The way most of his songs go, he gives a hint, like playing the first 5 seconds of the video, or giving some other onstage clue, to which the true fans seemed to react with a knowing smile. Like when he comes out on stage riding a Segway, you know its time for his new hit "White and Nerdy", I guess I am geeky enough or nerdy enough that the lyrics hit home. They play the first 3 seconds of the video for "Amish Paradise" a song I will forever associate with Hersheypark and Dutch Wonderland, thanks to Robb Alvey. I swear I might have just thought this, but it seemed like all the stage lights went dark at the words "No lights, no phones, no motorcars" No one or thing is safe from Wierd Al, who also sang "Pretty Fly for a Rabbi", I mean Wierd Al cam even get a hit song singing about going through the fast food drive in, in "Trapped at the Drive Through"which is a singsong almost storytelling about all the bad experiences you have ever had at a fast food drive through, or dealing with your spouse when it comes to getting dinner, all rolled into one. He did so mang songs that I'm sure I forgot one or two along the way, all told the show ran 2 hours, without intermission. Towards the end of the show after what you think is the end of the show, he starts singing the words "We all have cell phones, so let's get real" then you realize it IS a real song, and he proceeds to sing it, while the audience holds their cell phones high in the air waving them. We walked out when he started singing "Albequrque" as we knew that was the last song in the set, you can hear it all over Action Zone, its not a good song, and we wanted to ride Son of Beast. You know what Wierd Al is missing? A big closer, the end of his concert just peters out, there is no song he sings that proclaims "This is the final showstopper!" I hear he used to use "Yoda" for that purpose. So did I love the show, HECK YEAH! That was about the fastest 2 hours, with plenty of laughs. So, we get to Son of Beast at around 9:55, we enter the queue and find it to be jest a station wait. April had heard that the back seat also produces a great ride. "I have a bad feeling about this" But, we head to the back seat queue anyway. While we are waiting the closing fireworks go off, and we are concerned we may not get to ride in the back seat, and may have to move to a middle seat, which we all know are rough. First Dave and April depart in the blue train. Then I am loaded into the red train, both of my rides today being in the red train. We depart the station, and head into the drop out of the station just as the blue train is returning to the final brakes. We make the curve to the lift approach, past the camera, and start up the lift. We barely start up the lift when the lift stops. I know the other train is well past the next block point, in fact I saw it hit the final brake. A couple minutes later, the lift restarts. We get near the top of the lift, the lift stops again. Moments later the lift restarts, and we crest the lift, and down the first drop. Up the second hill, down the second hill, and into the helix, and dang it, I KNEW this was a bad idea. I get roughed up pretty bad in the helix. We head into the mid course brake, and we stop. Total stop. A few moments later, we restart and roll a bit further down the mid course brake, and it stops again. Wait a bit, and we continue, luckily there are no more brakes until the end of the ride. At least coming off of a dead stop at the downtrack end of the mid course meant I could verify that the kicker tires that were there when it had the loop were removed. This may have helped as the the rest of the ride was just rough, and not brutal. Overall, I did not enjoy the ride in the back seat. We come up to the final brakes, and we of course stop again. Only this time I can see why, the blue train is being unloaded. Wait, you mean after all those stops, they are just now unloading the blue train? Something seems amiss. They then close the lapbars on the blue train, dispatch it empty, and bring us into the station. As I would find out, I was on the last train that night. Those who were waiting for the next train did not get to ride. Apparently the ride computer started acting up, and they had to bring the train I was on around manually in service mode, overiding what the computer thought were block violations at every block point. They then unloaded the blue train, without giving them a ride, closed the ride, and jogged the blue train out to the lift so they could jog the red train I was on back into the station. A crew member noted that they have been having lots of downtime lately. By this time, the park is closed, so we make our way up to International Street, out the front gate, and then make the long walk to BFE. Dave them gives me a photo CD from Coastermania, then proceeds to take almost an hour to get out of the parking lot. Did I mention the crowds were insane? And that ends, Kings Island with Wierd Al, which means I can start to to work on my next big novel, yep, I went to Minnesota and Wisconsin again, that can only mean one thing. Trip Reorts from the Minnesota State Fair, Valleyfair!, Mall of America, Mt. Olympus, Timber Falls, and SS Billiards are about to head your way, that is when I get around to them, Considering it took my almost a month to get this TR out.

But it's an amusement park, don't they WANT their customers to think they are going for a ride? Afterall, isn't that what it's all about, the rides? :) :) Seriously though, the only time I have seen ride and food at a park combined is Dollywood where they sell concessions ON the train before it leaves the station! Well wait, no, there is that free chocolate bar I received as I stepped off the Chocolate World dark ride at Hershey.

It does see more thought out than last season, "Temporary Season Pass" anybody? Hopefully they are moving to the vision that a Platinum pass is a Cedar Fair pass, not a (insert name of CF owned park here) Pass. Chain wide parking, being able to use any platinum pass at any parks season pass gate, process the voucher at ANY park, and making the perks the same (buy the PP get all the perks at every park), would go a LONG way towards making this a reality. Hmm, since at least for CP, you are allowed to process the voucher at any park, does that mean each park will have cardstock for each park, or will the look and feel for a Platinum Pass be the same regardless of where purchased?

My guess is either the person was beligerant and refused to stop smoking in a restricted area, or now that it is out it was a media type, may have provoked the explusion just to get a story. Naw, the media would never do that...

The park has put a Season Pass FAQ up on the offiicial site which may help answer questions: Season Pass FAQ Note the sections on parking, I note it says that a parking pass includes parking al att CF parks, not just the Platinum Pass parking. I think they could move to making parking standard on ANY seson pass, then they can rip the pass scanners out of the toll booths at all the parks, and redeploy them to the admissions gates of parks that don't have scanners. All in the interest of getting that pesky trip to Guest Relations out of the picture. I note in the FAQ, obviosuly written for 2008, that the trip to Guest Relations is still the official procedure when 'park hopping' on your Platinum pass. I also don't know if they got happy on the copy/paste function, but note that the section on parking passes explicitly states that your parking pass is NOT valid for Haunt in 2008. On Saturdays, that sounds to me like a lot of people arving at the park during normal operating hours, to use the parking pass, then tailgating in the parking lot until Haunt opens. Or if they are visiting the park Saturday, perfect time to not only dodge the parking fee, but dodge the food prices by using the time to have your picnic lunch in the parking lot. Unless they plan on trying to clear the parking lot, and push everybody back through the toll plaza for Haunt.

Maybe not this year, but soon, i hope that Cedar Fair fully realizes what they are really selling. With the Platinum Pass, they are NOT selling a Kings Island pass, or a Cedar Fair Pass, or a <insert park name here> Pass. They are selling a Cedar Fair pass. For the same price at any sales outlet. I think the chain wide parking privilege is a hint that Cedar Fair is getting it. I am all for making it so that no matter which Cedar Fair park you buy a Platinum pass from, that you are really buying a chain season pass not a park season pass, and therefore should get all the perks at all the parks. Then we network all the park front gates, so that if you buy a Platinum passes, there are no visits to Guest Services. You show up at the park of your choice, and anybody with a platinum pass gets all the same perks and privileges.

I don't think its that simple. I think each person or family will have to decide which perks are better for them CP Point Perks, or KI Gold Perks, then purchase their pass accordingly. If you bounce back and forth between the two parks, then maybe Point Perks are better for you, but if you are the type that makes that one trip up north each season, Gold Perks may be better for you. I plan on buying platinum, just because the day prices for Coastermania and CoasterEXT last year totaled $53 and the Maxx upgrade was $50. This year Platinum is $50 above a Gold, so if the event prices hold steady, I should be able to break even on the upgrade, and then if I so happen to get near another CF park, I am covered. I will give you that Cedar Point is cunning. A CP Only pass is $105, a CP Platinum is $140. To add parking to a CP Only pass is $50. Please hit the person who buys a CP Only and a parking pass with a sledgehammer, as that would total $155! Thats more than platinum which includes parking. Ah, but take your family of four. Dad buys Platinum to get parking, then buys Mom and the two kids CP Only passes. Sounds reasonable, but now the rest of the family doesn't get Point Perks, and you CAN'T add Joe Cool to a CP Only pass!! If the family is used to having Joe Cool, that is a cunning way to add $105 more on to their pass bill!

Just noticed this: A special web-only presale of tickets for September 23 only - just $19.95 each. Go to pki.com - Tickets, General Admission Also had the prices up for Halloween Haunt: (Fri/Sat - 7pm - close) Fridays - $19.95 Saturdays - $24.95 (includes Halloween Haunt, Nick or Treat and all day park admission) No word on pricing for the Bare Bones Nights (Oct 29-31) Also Nick or Treat (Sat/Sun Noon-5:30) $24.95 - Includes Nick or Treat and all day park admission - Saturday also includes Halloween Haunt