Inraider Posted May 14, 2003 Share Posted May 14, 2003 (edited) This is a stoy I have been writting about PKI. Its highly fictional, these are the first two chapters of it. I figured you guKings Island Kings Island The Mischievous Maestro In a forbidden forest, down an abandoned mine, a ghostly servant confronts his master…. “My lord, I know I have failed, but..†“BUT!â€-said the evil voice behind a pair of fiery red eyes “there are no buts!…I specifically told you what you were to doâ€-said the raspy growl “Was the deal foe-filled!â€-The maestro exclaimed “ The jewel for the child?†“No! I must posses the artifact in order to obtain the child†“I grow weary servant, every night I begin to doubt you even more..†There was then a great silence that fell as they stared each other down. The maestro, although confident, was sweating, and rather jittery, but contact was not lost. “I need the jewel to get the child,†said the maestro nervously, “Very wellâ€- as the raspy voice and pair of eyes disappeared into the darkness of a tunnel, waiting, waiting, as though expecting to be struck dead by some form or another at any second. He jumped at the smallest noises, creeks, squeaks, and chirps of one type or another immersed him. For he knew he was being hunted, by what he did not know, for the only thing he did know was that he needed to bid his time. He suddenly heard the clank of what sounded like glass, he jumped, startled, and looked at his feet. It was a red ruby, sparkling under the torch lit tunnel. He examined it for a long while, then something caught his eye, engraved in the center of the ruby was a large circle, a triangle in the middle of the circle with lines protruding from the center and outer rims. It was intricately decorated with lines and dots galore. “Who did you have to..to…kill..to get this?†“That is not of your concern, now take the jewel, and bring me the child,†“Yes my lord†Right as he began to leave… “Maestro, if I do not get want I desire, then I will come and posses it myself.†Stuttering, the maestro turned around and replied. “Yo.. You…you mean, (swallowing hard) broad daylight†“If that is what it will take†Without saying another word, he began, once again, to leave. “If I do not have him, then I will come out, and bring your dead body with me†Shuttering, he finally left the mine, once out of what seemed like the dark abyss, he began his long walk down the mountainside back to the village. It was a starry night out; a low-ground fog blanketed the grass. He continued walking, watching the stars gently cascade through the tops of his eyes. Once he reached his grand and very large theatre in the middle of a tired village, his minion opens the door…. “Good evening Sir…†the old, bony man said “Why is it so dark in here?†“All have gone to bed sir.†“Well, I suppose I should be doing the same, but I do have some that needs tending to, I will be up after while†“Very well, then if that will be all…†“Yes, it willâ€-said the maestro rather snobbishly “Very good, I’m off to bed, good evening sir.†“Yes, it is a GOOD evening isn’t it?†With that, the butler made his way down the long flight of stairs. As the maestro started off down the dark foyer, with only a small candle to light his path. He came upon a set of large doors, opening them displayed a large theatre, with many rows of seats, and a balcony overhead. He walked over to the wall, and flipped a switch only to have the room lit up by many lights, and two gold chandeliers. It was a grand theatre with beautiful chrome, ivory, and seats lined with gold trimming. Every seat was padded, and made of mahogany, but the seating wasn’t as nearly as impressive as the stage. The entire stage was an Organ, with the thirty-foot tall ceilings, the organs pipes extended all the way to the up and along the sides of the walls. The keyboard had two rows of at least fifty keys. Everyone one of them was Ivory with black, marbled, quarter keys. The pipes barley reached the ceiling, each one was different, some thick, some thin, some fat, some tall, a few short, and a few that were a combination of all. The Maestro stepped, and found himself on the stage with the enormous pipe organ, scattered play props, and complex sets of old churches, park ways, huge Viking ships, and a large magic trick box that had the words: “THE AMAZING GREAT GARBONZO!†on it. As he stepped over an axe, and two ores, he reached the organ just as soon as heard foot steps, whipping around as though someone had pinched a nerve in his neck, he realized it was only his usher. A very kind, young, fresh faced, man that got more tips than pay. He, along with the performers, slept at the theatre. The usher walked down the dark, open, purple walled hallway. Slowly making his way to the theatre doors, when he looked inside, he saw… “MAESTRO!†he yelled, the maestro (or what was left of him) was lying on the floor, covered by his robes. The usher ran down the isle way, then stopped dead in his tracks, it was black, seared bones! No flesh was to be found, just blackened bones under a seared and tattered robe. Standing in absolute horror, the lights flickered, a huge blast of noise immersed from the Organ. Looking in amazement, all the sheet music flew up in an enormous circle, and levitated, constantly whirling around. Then, out of the openings in the tall stacks, blue dust poured outward into the ring of whirling sheet music, becoming stationary once inside the circle. It stopped pouring abruptly, for the sheet music and the dust whirled down to the floor of the stage in violent funnel, only at the bottom did it finally collide with a brilliant flash of light. “MAE. .MAE…MA-MAESTRO!†“But, …uh…how?†“Not how my dear friend, what!†“What?†“I placed an ancient jewel inside of my Organ, and now it has uncomprehendable powers! When I play certain harmonies and keys.†“Wait!â€-An Erie pause overcame the scene “are you telling me this…this…so called Organ can bewitch people.†“Think of what we could do! Control Kingdoms! Cities! Towns! We could be infamous and POWERFULL!†“ You’re going to use this tomorrow at the party aren’t you! You’re going to murder the King!†“NO! no my dear boy, kill the king! Along with everyone else in the theatre. Then I will take the child†“Why?†said the baffled and disgusted usher. “Why! Curiosity, Hmmm! It killed the cat, and soon you will share the same fate†The usher just stood there, looking into the Maestros cold eyes, utterly petrified at what he was hearing. “I am not going to let you, you, MURDER! THEM!†A blast of wind blew the papers right out of the pews, and the usher fell flat on his back in utter shock. Once the wind deceased, every light started bursting into pieces causing the room to be showered with glass. “TRY ME! Just give it a go!†After this the usher had no other thought but to run as fast as he could down the isle towards the doors. Right before he reached them, every door shut in the entire theatre with a loud BANG! Not be able to stop quickly enough, he slammed into the door head- first. After gentle prying himself off of the wood door, he tired the knob, it wouldn’t move, he tried another, it wouldn’t move. Trying the final door, he reached for the handle and was suddenly drug to his feet. Howling in terror, he turned to see his capturer’s, it was the other performers! Only terrible bony, and ghost-like versions of them. He struggled, trying desperately to grab anything he could. When, finally, he caught a hold of something, not letting go, he kept a firm grip. Bad idea, defy the ghosts, bad idea, for the next second he found himself hurling through the air and slammed into the Maestro. “THE SHOW MUST GO ON!†followed by evil laughs as the stage under them opened up to reveal the boiler room, with two stokers opening the hatch on top of the giant furnace. “HOW ‘BOUT SOME HEAT!†the stoker said as the maestro let go of the usher, falling, plummeting towards his doom, for a moment of peace swept over him for he knew it was all over, when a violent flash of light came hurtling towards him, closer…CLOSER it came as the whiteness got brighter and brighter, the he could feel the heat from the furnace growing hotter and more eager to eat something! Flash! All he could suddenly see was darkness…. ys would be interersted. Kings Island -Shattered Nerves and bones- (ch. 2 , book one) "that evening at the theatre...." The kings coachmen was a tall man, he wore a pressed tuxedo and a cape-like throw that covered his back and tied right under his chin. This evening, he would be picking up the King and her majesty from a performance at the L’auberge theatre. The theatre was quite formal, even from the outside. It had elegant moldings of roman children and large pained windows in the front. The front yard was grass green as emeralds and a large semi-circle, stone, pathway that went right in front of the building, it was just big enough to hold two coaches side by side. The outside was lighted very well with tall, black, Iron lamps that stood in the sidewalk in front of the yard. The lamps were connected by a iron rod fence the extended the complete perimeter around the yard, it only seperated where the stone pathway came out to meet the road. The coachmen had attended an event at the theatre once before, the Annual Servant Appreciation Ball. The ball, at first, looked like another snooty-pants event for publicity. But the coachmen hadn’t been employed a long time at the Island when he attended, so he obviously didn’t know that the King hated formal events with a passion, her majesty does a better job at hiding it than he does, but its still evident that they agree in their hatred. They liked the dressing up portion, just not the caviar and fine wine part. Elegant, classical music was appreciated by them, on occasion, but was not their definition of “party musicâ€. The Kings enjoyed classics such as “Baby Got Back†and “Another One Bites the Dustâ€. He (the coachmen) ranted for days about the party, as did everyone else in the palace. Let him tell you, it was quite the attraction seeing people in corsets and hoops trying to do the “Electric Slideâ€. You couldn’t help but laugh. As the coachmen trotted across, his shoes became dripping wet with dew from the grass, even slipping occasionally while attempting to pull up his gloves. He was approaching the steps when an ear splitting scream rattled through his ears followed by what cannot be described as anything other than a evil laugh that made the hair on the back of you neck stand up. The coachmen ran with a painful limp after stumbling on the dew, almost hopping once he reached the front steps. The evil laugh eminated again, he was worried now and in a full sprint across the lawn, ran up to the door. Then as soon as he touched the lip on the door handle a giant wall of red heat blasted him back. Breaking stone, shattering glass, twisting metal, splitting wood, it all passed in a split second. The coachmen only felt a blast of severe heat and what felt like pin pricks all over his face as he flew back and landed on the cold stone walkway in front of the theatre. The pin pricks increased until it soon felt more like knives slicing his face, his arms felt like scolding water had been poured over them. He gazed into the sky above, the pain was fading away, and all he felt was this incredible peace, no cares or concerns. His gaze was then suddenly broken by an evil chuckle from above. Not moving, he continued to stare at the sky, until the Maestro came into focus. He squinted to make out the figure of the other four blurs. He would have gasped, but his chest was so tight he could barely breath, for the figures before him were ghostly, horribly emaciated forms. “The king will fall and so will this Island, you have witnessed the first of many acts to bring control of the Island to its rightful owner, mark my words….. it will fallâ€-The ghostly maestro brought his hand to a silver handle sticking from his belt. He pulled a long, polished-diamond machete form the leather holder, raised it above his head and…the coachmen would have moved, if he could have, every muscle in his body screamed for him to. “The king will fall!! wah haha! Death will come to the island and my master will soon rule! Hahahaâ€-he laughed in an undyingly cruel tone that seemed to echo. The mans heart throbbed and cried for mercy from his chest, all he could imagine was little boy inside of him screaming, sobbing, pleading for it all to stop. The Maestro suddenly thrusted the machete straight towards him, the little boy screaming, his heart pounding, faster, closer, closer, faster. All there was was a rushing. The next was a giant schreach of metal on rock. The coachmen, or half of him for that matter, was lying on the ground, blood all over his tuxedo. The Maestro simply stood, there, wheezing and laughing at the same time, the other performers in unison. Then, the Great Garbonzo came running out of the smoldering theatre. “Zirâ€-he said with a heavy French accent. The Maestro abruptly turned, almost in anger for disturbing him. “Zir, it is eleven t’irty! Wie ‘av exectly t’irty minutes to retrieve the prince and bring him to The Beast†“Don’t worry about that right now, your job is to get into the palace and knick the little brat†“Why don’t wie yust bring him ze King? Look! He is right zer! Und zie is cooked too!†The others subtly chuckled along with Garbonzo, but he was instantaneously lifted into the air right in front of the Maestro who’s hand was out and pointed at the mans throat. Garbonzo was suddenly thrust into a seizure like fit in mid-air. He was choking and gasping for air while his eyes rolled back into his head. He was shaking violently and his tongue was rolled up in his mouth, actively gagging him. He was choking on his own tongue. The beads of sweat were like giant rain drops, his diolated eyes widened as the Maestro spoke: “The king will not do, he said the prince and I mean the prince, if that is a problem, then please tell me. I will be glad to let you join his majesty. Is this clear?â€-with that, he dropped the performer and watched him fall to the ground while gasping for breath. “Well, you heard the man, we only have thirty minutes, for it has begun†Again, this is only the first two chapters. I hope you enjoyed. Post what you think. And yes, I plan on this being published at some point in time. Edited January 1, 1970 by Inraider Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Huss_inda_House Posted May 14, 2003 Share Posted May 14, 2003 This is my first time posting on these boards, and I Must say What i just read may be the Worst piece of literature I have ever read. You wanted my feedback......... It was poorly written, as if done by a 15 year old. Not a really understandable plot. Never will be published, not by a long shot. And Still I don't know why you put it on these boards seems pointless to me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AZ Kinda Guy Posted May 14, 2003 Share Posted May 14, 2003 I'm sorry but I thought the whole idea was kinda weird. Not the story, but the subject you based it on. Just my two cents... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Inraider Posted May 14, 2003 Author Share Posted May 14, 2003 Good, I am actually happy that you guys felt that way. Its only the first two chapters and if the first two chapters, escpecially these, don't make sense...Then I consider it a definite posistive. Its only a rough draft, still there is a lot to work out and correct. The story, when finished, will not be clear until about the 7th or 8th chapter. So I am glad... thanks for being honest to me. I am afraid though, that it will not be finished for quite some time. If you would like a description of the big picture or plot of all three books then just ask, I will be happy to. (yes, I said THREE books) Again, thanks for your feedback. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scooby_Doo Posted May 14, 2003 Share Posted May 14, 2003 HEY i liked it good job inraider! i know what it is like! i go to school my major is animation and man its hard to come up with a GOOD Story!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Inraider Posted May 14, 2003 Author Share Posted May 14, 2003 Man, no kidding! Especially one that you have to figure out how to base it completely off of fiction and the stories behind rides, then make them all intertwine and actually make sense! here's and overview of the entire story, all three books: A island is ruled by a royal family named the Kings. Appropriately, the island is named Kings Island. It has a large mountain on it which takes up at least 75% of all the space. The kings are loved and very well liked, they are also kind people. But, after the queen gave birth five years before, the opposition became worried. Thus a plan was devised to murder the king, kill the prince and get The Beast into power. This plan is thwarted when the Maestro runs out of time and The Beast comes out of its hiding to get the pince himself. The Kings older son calls the U.S. gov. after word of the murder gets out. he rquests that he and his brother be taken to the U.S. for safety. Just as the gov. arrives, they discover that the Maestro and The Beast have issued an enormous attack on the king estate. The older son narrowly escapes the attack with the prince at his side. He flags down a helicopter to quickly whisk the prince away before anything happens to him. During the process, the U.S. discovers The Beast. They enlist the Prince (although he doesn't know what or who he actually is ) to retrieve The Beast, he refuses and leaves to go back home to Dayton Ohio. By this time, the older brother has heard of what it happening and is trying to reach the prince before the U.S. gov. does. If he reaches him, then power will be restored to the king family and the island will live in peace again. If not, then the U.S. will rule over the Island in an attempt to replicate a stronger version of The Beast for warfare. The attempt is called: Project Rising Son Through all this, the prince must join forces with Lara Croft to return a stone to its natural resting place before the mountain blows, help a species of Alien that have been friends of the Kings for years fight a war and destroy porject rising son. All with the help of: Lara Croft- a adventurer with an attitude and need for a thrill Vortex-a roboric dog thats cute to pet, but has a "destructive" side to him Nichole Debolt-a scientist on project rising son with huge suspicions and a keen drop kick, all with an IQ that would blow einstein out of the water Chris Sykes-the princes best friend back home that gets involved in the fiasco Amanda cain-a fine young lady who is a daughter of a resident at the island That pretty much covers it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AZ Kinda Guy Posted May 14, 2003 Share Posted May 14, 2003 Ok, for BANDWITH purposes, I'm going to have to close this thread. The idea is great don't get me wrong but if people want to continue to read this, just have them e-mail you. Sorry man. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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