bkroz

No apologies necessary. It's a humor piece. Each entry is for fun and cites a joke-y reason ("stress and duress" verbal contract on Top Thrill Dragster, murderous bride on Haunted Mansion, unlucky Thirteen, etc). It's not meant to be taken as a literal list. It's just for fun.

Give it up. You were called out for stereotyping and now you're being a baby about it. I'm not opening this can of worms. Suffice it to say, my original post on the subject was concerned NOT with how awful your state is, but with the pre-concieved notions that MANY people have about it (just as they have about Ohio, California, West Virginia, New Jersey, etc. just upon hearing the name). Kentucky Kingdom incites bias. It just does. Sorry, wish I could help! BB1's "Only in Kentucky..." post above is only verification of those biases and the fact that it's a bias we have, culturally and psychologically, whether we like it or not. I said that my psychological biases against Kentucky gave me the impression that I would not feel welcome there. Humorously, your way of "calling me out" for stereotyping was a guns-blazing, yee-haw style monologue about how Kentucky didn't need me and to not show my face there because I was unwelcome. Uhh... sort of verified my stereotype, didn't it? GYK, who's being a baby about it... by still waiting for a response from the apologetic and clarifying PM I sent you day of... EDIT: And even if we're all going to brush it under the rug, I still think this whole biases / stereotypes thing does affect Kentucky Kingdom. I just think it does. I think Bluegrass Boardwalk would've been read differently. I know. I'm a bigot or something.

Don't go there. Metaphorically. I'm not telling you not to go to the state. GYK, who was banned.

Found another. Challenge of Tutankhamun! This is another INCREDIBLE interactive dark ride from Sally Corp commissioned for Six Flags Holland (now Walabi Belgium). Like Labyrnth of the Minotaur, low-scoring riders are ejected from the ride early. However, Minotaur had ejection points about 1/3 and 2/3 of the way through the game. In Challenge of Tut, both ejection points are at the end of the ride. If you've scored enough by time you reach 14A (on the layout below), you get to face the golden god Set (sort of like a final boss battle... labeled 15A). Only if you defeat him do you see Tut's treasure room (16A) and the fate of the ride's antagonist and protagonist are revealed. It's smart. On Minotaur, if you don't score enough you miss the last half of the ride or more. Here, you get the full ride no matter what, but only those who score high enough get the big finale. Pretty smart. Here's a big version of the layout map below, and a photo of 3D model. The YouTube video above is official from Sally Corp. and, at the end, mentions their other new dark ride for 2003: Scooby Doo and the Haunted Castle at Paramount's Kings Island. Both Minotaur and Challenge of Tut are INCREDIBLE. I can't get over it. I don't know which one I'd be more excited to ride. Sally can do great work when budgets are expanded.

Press release says, in part that the ride includes "an Immelmann turn where riders enter a half loop and then go through a half twist and curve out in the opposite direction in which they came." Huh... I'm guessing they don't mean an inversion.

A 21st Century Exterminator.

The first indoor spinning glow-coaster in the U.S. OVERVIEW: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gfFQhQIikOk#t=13 POV: Family friendly fun-house coaster. http://www.hersheypark.com/2015/

When the terms of service are not being adhered to, we're supposed to turn into skittish mice, afraid to say so? Photos (and rumors for that matter) need to be cited according to the terms of service. Especially if they give the impression that they might've been taken by breaking park rules and policies. Goble saw a photo and wanted to know it's origin. That's his right. And it's the poster's responsibility to cite that kind of thing. Lessons learned all around.

All precedents, I'm telling you. I think the literal list of flubs will be remembered for a long time. They'll probably also be cited as a way to recover from such situations... or how not to. That remains to be seen.

Meanwhile, at Universal Orlando...

Crowd distributions. Just yesterday, I listened to a new podcast with famed Disney Legend and leading Imagineer Tony Baxter. When he and his team designed Indiana Jones Adventure at Disneyland, they were told in no uncertain terms that it would go in Tomorrowland. It had to! Crowd distributions! Imagineers re-formatted the concept to fit Frontierland as a compromise, until they came up with that genius idea of the quarter-mile themed queue to lead out to showbuilding beyond the park's berm. Fun fact!

Absolutely he would. But you're not talking about taking out an older attraction and replacing it with something else. You're talking about a shift in the purpose of the park. Tomorrowland's dedication reads: Disneyland Park's is: Star Wars completely overtaking a land shifts both of those, doesn't it? Which, I guess, is fine. Business is business, and business must grow. It's alright (and even makes sense) for Tomorrowland to bend in the direction of "science-fiction" rather than purporting to actually predict a rapidly-accelerating future. Fine. But Magic Kingdom's does that as a sci-fi alien spaceport based on Buck Rogers type 20th century pulp comic adventures. Paris's does it through a reverent and floor-to-ceiling fantasy-style retro-future of Jules Verne inspired rides and attractions with organic architecture and bubbling lagoons. There are dozens of Tomorrowland concepts that were designed but never came to be: Sci-Fi City. Tomorrowland 2055. Discovery Bay. I guess I just sort of refuse to believe that a floor-to-ceiling Star Wars overlay is the right answer for Disneyland's Tomorrowland. For a third park, great. Go for it. I myself designed an Islands of Adventure style park for Disney that has a whole "island" dedicated to Star Wars (which I don't even care for). It does deserve a place. Probably a whole land. But not in place of Tomorrowland. Not to me. What would become of Buzz Lightyear? Just odd man out? Or would it, too, get a Star Wars overlay? Space Mountain? Housed in the Death Star? There's a line somewhere... Nevermind that classic defense of fans... Tomorrowland... "A long time ago in a galaxy far far away..." Space does not necessarily equate future, much less the idealized and streamlined future Walt loved.

I'm sure you'll be well-trained. Let's hope they are, too.

^ It will be? Visit on Star Wars Weekends for a taste. Yep, it would be Tomorrowland at Disneyland. No other place it fits. Certainly not in Disney California Adventure. Here's a whole write-up on the rumored happenings in Tomorrowland. I understand what you are saying, but the majority of Disney's big attractions are based or themed around an iconic character(s). I would much rather it be an established character or franchise than something that fades away over time and makes you scratch your head as to why it exists in the park still. This is why I still scratch my head at Toontown at Disneyland, a whole area themed after Roger Rabbit? Really? My humble opinion it needs bulldozed. And I agree and I'm one of those who absolutely gets that Disney attractions are themed around iconic characters, and I'm more than okay with it. Indiana Jones Adventure California is - bar none - my favorite attraction on Earth. My problem is with the idea of all of Tomorrowland being re-themed to Star Wars. Truth be told, I never got into Star Wars. What does that do to people like me, when every ride in the land is given a Star Wars spin? What if - God forbid - they actually name it Star Wars Land. (Don't think they wouldn't do it! Look at "Cars Land" which could've reasonably been named "Radiator Springs." Which is easier to market: New Tomorrowland or Star Wars Land?) And Disneyland is something unique. Walt's original. He designed Tomorrowland to conform to his own futuristic ideas about the Space Age. Like Epcot, it predicted the future, and it did it well. Now it's more about fantasy space adventures. I guess that's fine. But to make it "Star Wars Land" (like Toy Story Land or something) is quite a perversion of the land's purpose. It would also be the only IP-based land in the park. Fantasyland. Adventureland. Frontierland... Star Wars Land? Nah, don't like that. Toontown DOES need removed and would make a great spot for a "New Fantasyland" with Seven Dwarfs Mine Train, a new classic dark ride, new meet-and-greet, and new restaurant. But at this point, it's Roger Rabbit related in name only. It's more Minnie's house and Mickey's house and all that. Seems like it would be more or less simple to turn it into a New Fantasyland, too.

Gah! So a trip to Darien Lake would be mostly for a HUSS Top Spin, a MotoCoaster, and a Nik Wallenda circus-style show. Still not terrible. And hey, for all we know it could be struck by a comet tomorrow, right? GYK, who made very, very special arrangements to spend this Thursday at Waldameer and Conneaut Lake Park. You just never know!

Yikes. Not what I like to hear. Is Predator a stand-out? Otherwise, not much original at the park. Except their Zamperla... Sorry Terp, but I'm enamored.

Just wondering... if I was theoretically battling myself over a trip to Darien Lake (which is much closer to me than previously thought), should I lower expectations for Ride of Steel? GYK, who initially thought it was a mirror-imaged clone of Six Flags New England's Superman - Ride of Steel / Bizarro and was ecstatic to "basically" ride one of the best coasters in the world. Only yesterday did he realize it's a mirror-image clone of Six Flags America's Superman - Ride of Steel, which was a bit of a let down if only because it's not the clone of a "world's best" coaster... And then to hear this... Uh oh. EDIT: Truth be told I didn't know Six Flags America and Six Flags New England were different. I need to brush up on my Six Flags. Especially if before the end of the decade... Well, never mind. That's cross-threading.

We shall see. All things considered and from what I've seen and experienced, I hope Fast Lane as we know it takes a similar route down the ole creek. Difference is, Fast Lane is a money maker that looks shiny and magnificent on paper. Folks forking over hundreds to simply walk their family up the exit ramp with practically no wait for any major (or minor) attraction, all day long! The problem is the immeasurable element of guests who say "I didn't like that. It didn't feel good to have folks practically shuffle past me and excuse themselves to the front of the line. I came today, but I won't be back next year. If I'm back next year, it won't be with a pass. A pass isn't worth what it used to be if people can climb in front of you, and yet the price for it goes up." Line-jumping is a pay-to-play sport at Kings Island.

As one of those 50 guests, the apology would've meant something to you. However, the Facebook post apologizing would also be seen by the other 65,000 fans that Wet 'n Wild Orlando has on Facebook. "Oh, the park closed early?" they might say. "I didn't know they did that! What a stupid decision! I can't believe they'd take those peoples' money! That's unfair! It was sunny the whole rest of the day!" etc etc. Suddenly tens of thousands of people would know that the park closed, when only 50 were due an apology. Water parks have to close during thunderstorms. Employees and guests must get away from the water. That means, go home. Get to safety. Most people don't want to be out in a thunderstorm, and that includes lifeguards. They don't want to huddle in the park's office waiting for the storm to pass so they can go back to work on the water. Could they have re-opened that afternoon if given the all-clear? Sure. I guess they decided it wasn't practical to call back their employees all for the no-doubt-insignificant number of visitors who would return after that for the early evening. I don't blame you for being annoyed. I'm certain you were. Believe it or not, the park apologizing on Facebook probably wouldn't have made you less annoyed in the moment. What I'm really saying is that from a PR point of view, issuing a public apology to those guests really only serves to alert the EXPONENTIALLY LARGER crowd who were not even influenced by the shut-down that it happened. I get Terpy's spin on it too. That makes sense.

I know we've all tried our hand at metaphors before, and some are valiantly pro-Fast-Lane and they sound glorious and accurate (the baseball game one... "dog eat dog world," "get what you pay for," "reality is inequality," "money does buy more," etc) and some wonderful metaphors that are anti-Fast-Lane, and when I hear them I go, "Yeah, that makes sense, Fast Lane is horrible!" Point is, Fast Lane at Cedar Fair Parks can't be compared to anything else, including other passes that may or may not be recognized as front-of-the-line premium-privilege VIP-queue-reduction passes – OR – pay-to-cut dirty-filthy-rich one-percenter elitist line-jumping pass depending on your spin and experiences. The point is that Fast Lane is neither amoral and demonic nor is it a sensible and appropriately-restricted premium product that the parks needed. It is what it is. It does what it does. Economics predicts its role, and (shockingly) the laws of economics appear to remain true, even at the Fun & Onlies. All queue-jumping systems are inherently unfair (even Disney's... less so now than then, if we're being honest) and certainly someone at Cedar Fair is tasked with taking all finance and investment and return and guest satisfaction and comments and concerns and questions into account, swallowing it, digesting it, and seeing what comes out the other end. Fast Lane is subject to change! We'll see if it does.

So now they'll stick to the policy of sticking to posted park hours. Come hell or high water. Literally, as the case may be. Well, in case of the latter... Or both?

Sometimes, parks close early. Don't make a lick of sense to stay open for a few dozen guests. Employees don't want to lounge out in the rain, staffing rides for an empty park. Keep guests safe and happy. Answer to the taxpayers. Treat employees as you would want to be treated. Unfortunately, part of that is "The park needs to close now. We apologize for the inconvenience." If rain checks are part of your policy, make them available. If not, keep it in mind as you reform policies in the future. To follow it up with 'internal confusion and managerial miscommunication had us close the park when we shouldn't have. We made a big mistake and we apologize.' Okay... who was the intended recipient of that fabulous public post? The guests who were asked to leave an hour early today? Yeah, I'm sure they were sulking but are now much more encouraged and pleased with Kentucky Kingdom. That's all it took was a heartfelt apology and an admission of wrongdoing. Meanwhile, now everyone knows. I can see this making its way into local papers: Kentucky Kingdom apologizes for early closing blunder; cites managerial confusion and miscommunication. C'mon. I don't know what'll come of the park, but this list of do's and don'ts is amassing at a rapid pace... and more of the latter than the former. Precedents, all.

It's like... It's like some kind of circus. Is this an empowered teenage intern given the park's social media passwords? Or is there actually a professional, college-degree PR representative in an office who's cooking up these wonderfully "candid" messages? Sorry Commonwealth of Kentucky taxpayers. "Internal miscommunication and confusion" among management. You know how it is! Does a heartfelt apology help?

^ Common Latin placeholder text. Translates to "This code for the photo. In the submissions." http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lorem_ipsum

Which would be appropriate, since Marvin is wearing a headdress that resembles Roman garb. In other words, I'd say Marvin looks like a Roman, not the other way around.