deb Posted July 21, 2007 Share Posted July 21, 2007 Like all amusement park chains, Cedar Fair is always on the lookout for a new profit center, whether it's on-ride pictures, premium parking, or paid line-jumping. Earlier this season, they thought they had a sure winner at Kings Island, one that might even make up for the bad press related to the loop removal on Son of Beast: Heroin sales in the parking lot. "It'd be perfect for calming patrons down before they come in," said park spokesman Roger Machina. "And you haven't seen our fireworks displays until you've seen them on crank. Or so I'm told. I certainly don't know." So the park started its new project, retrofitting a Dippin' Dots cart, now called the "Rolling Smack Shack." Business was good, until unfortunately a NASCAR truck racer was arrested for possession of illegal substances. "Turns out it's illegal," said Machina, shaking his head. "We had no idea. And we had huge future plans, including a celebrity tie-in, where we were in talks with Courtney Love to make the cart 'Kurt Cobain's Rolling Smack Shack.'" Plans to sell actual handguns at the "Shoot 'Em Up" midway game have also been put on hold. --GP LINK I found this, and found it HILARIOUS! Really didn't know where to put it... deb Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BoddaH1994 Posted July 21, 2007 Share Posted July 21, 2007 Absolutely Reliable is a joke web site. It's 100% fictional. Heck, Roger Machina isn't even a real person to my knowledge. The park's spokespeople are Don Helbig and Craig Ross. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
deb Posted July 21, 2007 Author Share Posted July 21, 2007 I knew that, that's why I posted that it was a bad joke... I thought everyone else MIGHT find it amusing. It stemmed from the nascar driver... *shrug* deb Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BoddaH1994 Posted July 21, 2007 Share Posted July 21, 2007 They also have an article about Face/Off's apparent extended downtime. Link I wonder when they'll reveal who blew up the limosine and is responsible for the (apparent) death of Mr. McMahon!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scooby_Doo Posted July 21, 2007 Share Posted July 21, 2007 ^ It was his wife linda mcmahon they gave the storyline away 3 weeks ago..you can read it at Wrestlezone.com but be warned you'll have to look for it and that site has many pop-ups!...wait Nascar truck driver? dontcha mean NASTRUCK..either way that guy was a moron for going to KI with drugs on him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pagoda Gift Shop Posted July 23, 2007 Share Posted July 23, 2007 Absolutely reliable is really funny. It is truly sarcasm at its best. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
welchce Posted July 23, 2007 Share Posted July 23, 2007 That was amazing. This part takes the cake... "Turns out it's illegal," said Machina, shaking his head. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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