Children Who Are or Seem to Be Afraid

[shark6495]

You can check out any time you like but you may never leave.

And thanks Lorax I appreciate the complement. I didn't know exactly what to do but it worked!

[markr]

There are many people, adults and children, who love thrill rides while there are many others, yes, adults and children, who hate them.  We need to lay off those non riders and let them be.  To shame people whether adults or children into riding rides that they are terrified of is not only cruel but downright dangerous.    

 

I used to take my niece to KI when she was little.  I always showed her what a ride did before riding it and, if she was scared, I would no way, no how force her to ride the ride.  I let her decide when she was ready to ride a ride.  Gradually as she got older, she felt less scared and willingly rode without pressure.  Guess what?  She absolutely loves coasters.  Studies have shown that kids are more likely to hate and be terrified of amusement rides if you use the high pressure method as opposed to letting them go at their own pace. 

[markr]

And one more thing-please do not take this the wrong way but I find some of these assertions that you are being over protective of your child and that your child will have trouble in later life if you do not force them to go on a silly amusement ride to be other nonsense.  My niece is a happy, healthy 23 year old young lady who successfully earned her mechanical engineering degree and has a great job.  And many other kids who decide that amusement rides are not their cup of tea have also been very successful in life.  OK, I feel better now that I have gotten this off my chest. ( lol.)

[Browntggrr]

Whoa!

Whoever said "force"?

"Pushing" is one thing, "forcing" is unacceptable. Please do not confuse the two. It would be a shame for some to get the wrong idea and attempt to stir up drama when it never existed from the beginning.

Thank-you for your cooperation in this matter!

[KIDB]

If I had waited until I wasn't scared, I don't know that I would have ever rode a coaster as a child, heck maybe not even now. I think it all goes back to knowing your children, their likes and dislikes, how far they can be pushed, what they are truly scared of, etc.

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[KIDB]

Whoa!

Whoever said "force"?

"Pushing" is one thing, "forcing" is unacceptable. Please do not confuse the two. It would be a shame for some to get the wrong idea and attempt to stir up drama when it never existed from the beginning.

Thank-you for your cooperation in this matter!

Totally agree. I doubt anyone on here would be in favor of physically forcing a distraught child onto a ride.

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[jsus]

Whoa!

Whoever said "force"?

"Pushing" is one thing, "forcing" is unacceptable. Please do not confuse the two. It would be a shame for some to get the wrong idea and attempt to stir up drama when it never existed from the beginning.

Thank-you for your cooperation in this matter!

 

Those who said force are those who said that the child would have no choice, that they would be taken to the ride and made to ride without any permission to exert free will.  Many posters clearly made it sound like force was utilized, or at least attempted to be utilized before being thwarted by ride ops.

 

Alas, that's my interpretation based on the anecdotes provided herein.

[markr]

My interpretation too Jsus.  And with all due respect, I do not think pushing a child to ride when they are reluctant or unwilling is right either.  It just seems like a lot of enthusiasts can get a little carried away with trying to force their love of coasters on others, both children and adults,  when it is not their cup of tea.  I am crazy about coasters but my sister cannot stand them and gets very ill on them.  However, we both respect each others' differences.  My sister blesses my enjoyment of my hobby while I understand why my hobby is just not for her.  That is the key word, RESPECT in the words of Aretha Franklin.

[KIDB]

My interpretation too Jsus. And with all due respect, I do not think pushing a child to ride when they are reluctant or unwilling is right either. It just seems like a lot of enthusiasts can get a little carried away with trying to force their love of coasters on others, both children and adults, when it is not their cup of tea. I am crazy about coasters but my sister cannot stand them and gets very ill on them. However, we both respect each others' differences. My sister blesses my enjoyment of my hobby while I understand why my hobby is just not for her. That is the key word, RESPECT in the words of Aretha Franklin.

I think that is a very different scenario than what many have described here. If I had a child who rode coasters, hated them, and actually became physically ill, obviously that is something that I would not make them do. I thought people were mainly discussing children who were tall enough to ride and had never done the big coaster thing before. Those that haven't tried it so they don't even know if they like it or if it makes them sick or not.

Maybe I misinterpreted the topic but I would never force someone that has already tried coasters and hated them.

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[Browntggrr]

Parents, those who raise a child day in, day out, know exactly how their child acts when truly scared or when they are simply acting.

It is not only insulting but incredibly disrespecting to attempt to create drama when, from the outside looking in, looks bad from YOUR opinion, yet still refuse to listen to real everyday parents.

And that in a nutshell is exactly what is wrong with many kids today. They are coddled and allowed to act out because they don't like something, mom/dad allow kids to make excuses to NOT do something. This then gives the child a sense of entitlement. After that ball is rolling it is very difficult to stop. As another member mentioned earlier- a child literally jumped from the moving train. Now what on God's green Earth would make that child believe that was safe or acceptable?

A prime example of kids who act like this can be found here at KIC. Look up the threads about: smoking, line jumping, stealing, and just all-around inappropriate behavior. These kids breaking simple rules have that sense of entitlement have do not think twice about it.

While this is an enthusiast site about a fun place that most of us enjoy leaving reality at the main gate, simple life long lessons can be achieved when strapping your child to a ride.

Do yourself a favor, listen to ALL those with kids. Picking and choosing what to listen to only creates unnecessary drama and is not a true way to form an educated opinion.

[Dieseltech20]

Telling my Daughter that she will be OK and I will give her ten bucks to take a ride, is far from forcing her. Sometimes I went home with a lighter wallet, sometimes she wouldn't take the bait. She is learning the rides are nothing to fear and having a good time.

Obviously and really goes without saying but if she actually got ill on rides she would no longer be asked to ride.

As a child I needed no bribing, forcing etc. The first Coaster I ever saw I immediately wanted to ride.

[ohioparksrock]

"See those people walking off xyz ride? They didn't die, did they? You won't either!"

[shark6495]

Oh I had to be forced to go on rides as a kid. Deathly afraid of them. I was also forced to repel and go rock climbing.

I was forced to play multiple sports instead of staying in all day to play video games. ... Then again forcing a kid can be a "you will ride this and attempt it if you don't like it you don't have to again.....

Last I checked as adults of kids we have to do our best to make our kids the best well rounded humans we can. No one wants there kid to turn into an adult who is not productive and happy...

[markr]

Amusement rides especially coasters are different Shark6495.  I would direct your attention to the signs by the rides which I will paraphrase.  They state that while amusement rides may be exciting people have different physical limitations.  They stress that while you may know your limitations Kings Island does not.  The last sentence states that if you are in doubt about your safety to ride a ride, DO NOT RIDE. ( My emphasis.)  My point is that while you and me may not have trouble with coasters, others do-extreme G forces can cause many people ( and I assume that includes children) to faint or possibly worse. 

 

I previously mentioned my niece-I would like to talk about my nephew as another example.  I took him also to KI as a child and he would not ride coasters-to this day he will not ride coasters.  He is now 17 years old, an honor student, a state debate champion as well as a state swimming champion.  I do not think his fear of coasters has hindered him in any way from being successful in life do you?

[shark6495]

Makr you are using a stretched version of what I said to make your counter point. A physical limitation is different than a mental.

Also my comment about forcing kids to do things is not limited to only coasters.

Children do not have the capability to make decisions based on what's good for them till they hit the age of reasoning (12-14 years of age).

Before that age a child reacts to events and objects that stimulate pleasure or dopamine. So when given the option kids will choose the easiest way to release dopamine.

As adults we have to do our best to expose children to as many new experiences as possible. If we don't expose children they run the risk of the following: limited world knowledge, limited vocabulary, limited real world experiences, limited problem solving, etc.

Do coasters or not riding coasters in of itself determine the trajectory of a child? No. But if you don't push children outside of their comfort zone then yes it will.

Also congrats to your nephew. It appears that his family has helped push him in other directions.

[Browntggrr]

Makr you are using a stretched version of what I said to make your counter point.

How many more members need to point this out?

[KIDB]

Amusement rides especially coasters are different Shark6495. I would direct your attention to the signs by the rides which I will paraphrase. They state that while amusement rides may be exciting people have different physical limitations. They stress that while you may know your limitations Kings Island does not. The last sentence states that if you are in doubt about your safety to ride a ride, DO NOT RIDE. ( My emphasis.) My point is that while you and me may not have trouble with coasters, others do-extreme G forces can cause many people ( and I assume that includes children) to faint or possibly worse.

I previously mentioned my niece-I would like to talk about my nephew as another example. I took him also to KI as a child and he would not ride coasters-to this day he will not ride coasters. He is now 17 years old, an honor student, a state debate champion as well as a state swimming champion. I do not think his fear of coasters has hindered him in any way from being successful in life do you?

Wait, so now this is limited to only coasters because they can make some people faint? How would one ever know how their body would react if they never tried? Kids have irrational fears, it's a parents job to help them overcome those fears.

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[KIBeast]

I'm going to try the bribery route. Maybe offer to go to buy a souvenir if he will ride a ride.

No matter what he decides, I'm sure we'll have a great day, and that's what I want to share with him.

[jsus]

I'm going to try the bribery route. Maybe offer to go to buy a souvenir if he will ride a ride.

No matter what he decides, I'm sure we'll have a great day, and that's what I want to share with him.

 

In moderation, bribery >> force.  Just my opinion.  And, just make sure not to train the kid to expect something before doing anything at all.  

[The Interpreter]

Do adults not work for money?

Terp, who likes to ask questions.

[Browntggrr]

I give my kids ice cream for scoring a goal..... which means bribery..... which means I forced them to do it?

 

Why do some want to make something so innocent & make it sound so terrible??

[jsus]

How did you read that from "bribery >> force"?

Need I explain?

It is better to teach a kid that there is a reward from trying new things, than teaching by fear of punishment or the like.

In Terpy's example, as an adult, you now know to expect compensation for your hard work.

Would you rather go to work every day not because you earn a paycheck, but because you are threatened? Intimidated?

To your point, Terp, some things you should expect to be rewarded for, like work. Some things, not so much. If your spouse is ill and you make a late-night run for medicine, you shouldn't need anything in return but to know that your spouse will recover.

[blue171717]

And that in a nutshell is exactly what is wrong with many kids today. They are coddled and allowed to act out because they don't like something, mom/dad allow kids to make excuses to NOT do something. This then gives the child a sense of entitlement. After that ball is rolling it is very difficult to stop. As another member mentioned earlier- a child literally jumped from the moving train. Now what on God's green Earth would make that child believe that was safe or acceptable?

 

This was exactly my point when I was telling the story about him throwing a tantrum and jumping off the train.  They had in fact had KI passes two years prior and he rode the little kid rides just fine, but suddenly decided he wasn't riding anything at all now.  I'm sure some of it was fear of the unknown and I think he was a little embarassed that my daughter wanted to ride bigger rides and he secretly just wanted to ride the little kid rides (even though she said she would ride them if he wanted), but instead of telling us what he wanted to ride or just trying ANYTHING, he has learned how to manuipulate situations where he gets his way and no one gets to have any fun and he is fine with that.  It's not necessarily about amusement park rides, it's the bigger picture.  Just last weekend, the same kid had a bunch of relatives coming to watch him play baseball and when they all got there he refused to get out of the car and play because "it's hot and I don't want to"  so instead of getting a pep talk about not letting your family who drove all this way or your team down and not being rude, the mom lied and told everyone he had a stomach ach and took him home.  Like I said, drives me nuts, but the mom has been my friend for almost 30 years, so I mostly keep my opinions to myself rather than hurting her feelings, but geez...  Sometimes you have to make kids do stuff because it's the right thing to do.

[medford]

We used to give our daughter M&Ms when she first started using the potty.  Now that she's turned 3, we give her 2 M&Ms when she has a dry pull up.  I gave each of my kids $1 for the 30 min they spent "helping" me spread mulch, so they could use it at the pool.  Our children must eat their veggies and/or fruit at dinner in order to "earn" dessert".  Our children get sent to timeout when they misbehave, talk back, refuse to listen, become overly whiney, etc..  They lose book privileges in the evenings/before nap if they aren't following orders in a reasonable manner.  Our son gets to do "awesome cool ninja stuff" when he/the class listen to their martial arts instructors, they get to sit on the floor and listen to "talks" when they are not paying attention.  My son "gets" to sit 1 minute on a bench at Kings Island when he wonders too far in front of us when transgressing from one part of the park to another?  Listening at the pool may entail and extra swim period, not listening may entail heading home instead.

 

Bribery, or incentive?

 

Kids/people take incentives or bribes to do lots in life.  Some of them can be rewards, some of them can be punishments, heck sometimes I just tell my 6 year old to head down to the basement to play with his Legos to give both him and his sister a little space from each other before the things escalate to a time out or lose of privileges.  Riding a roller coaster is not much different, while I wouldn't recommend "punishing" a kid for not wanting to ride any specific ride, I think its perfectly reasonable to offer a kid some sort of reward if they can overcome that fear, or on the flip side, make them sit out a ride while others are enjoying a ride.  Kids are inherently selfish and it takes a little social conditioning for most to learn that the world is significantly bigger than just themselves.  Its part of a parents job to direct their kids, help them realize when its time to "spread their wings" and when its time to be cautious and patient.  For a young child, heck for many adults, roller coasters are going to inspire an irrational sense of panic.  They designed to go high, go fast and in some cases flip you head over heels.  They want to give you a feeling of being "out of control" while engineered to be perfectly safe with multiple layers of safety built in, often not seen or felt directly by the riders.

 

My wife and I bribe our kids all the time.  Sometimes its in an attempt to get them to overcome their fears, sometimes its an attempt to improve their self, and sometimes its out of an attempt to give them an experience you know they'll like.  I spent all last summer trying to get my son to jump off the 10m high dive at the pool, he'd climb up the steps a few times, but would never walk off and jump, yet he eagerly rode Drop Tower with my wife when he was four.  Now 6, I still can't get him off that high dive.  There's no sense in pushing overly hard, if he'd take the bribe, great, if not, that high dive is still going to be there when he turns 7, 8, 10, etc..  he'll jump off it someday.  Same could be said of roller coasters for many, but even if they never get on board, there are plenty of other experiences in their lives that will occupy their time and give them fulfillment.

[The Interpreter]

You, sir, are a great Dad.

Still, your kid is not transgressing the park.

Transgress: v. Break a law, commit a sin.

[Browntggrr]

How did you read that from "bribery >> force"?

Need I explain?

 

Yes, you do need to explain because the way you make it sound is that bribery IS forcing especially when referring to  a "punishment".

 

Perhaps I am mistaken?

[jsus]

 

How did you read that from "bribery >> force"?

Need I explain?

Yes, you do need to explain because the way you make it sound is that bribery IS forcing especially when referring to  a "punishment".

 

Perhaps I am mistaken?

 

 

When one says that something is much better than something else, that is an acknowledgement that they are different.  Bribery/rewards/positive reinforcement is much better than force.

 

bribe |brīb| verb [ with obj. ]

persuade (someone) to act in one's favor, typically illegally or dishonestly, by a gift of money or other inducement

 

Note the typically part; in other words, not always.

 

Positive reinforcement encourages someone to want to do something.  Force encourages resent, contentment, etc.

[medford]

blue171717, I've successfully used the "your 5 year old cousin is going to ride The Beast" move on his older cousin to get her to ride it.  I was with her the first time she got to the 48" mark, and wanted to ride The Beast.  She happily rode it, as we walked off the ride, she pointed over to the big orange and blue steel and asked if we could ride that.  I asked if she understood that it went upside down a few times, she said yes, and happily rode Vortex.  Then sometime over the next couple of months she developed a fear for both rides, until I told her that her cousin 2 years younger was getting on, all of a sudden she was no longer scared (or admitting to fear more like it).  No way was she going to get upstaged by a 4 year old.

 

Ironically, I'm attempting the same thing, in revers however, on my 47 year old sister in law, who's 70+ mother rode both Banshee and Diamondback last season.  She's not so worried about being upstaged by her own mother

[Browntggrr]

 

 

How did you read that from "bribery >> force"?

Need I explain?

Yes, you do need to explain because the way you make it sound is that bribery IS forcing especially when referring to  a "punishment".

 

Perhaps I am mistaken?

 

 

When one says that something is much better than something else, that is an acknowledgement that they are different.  Bribery/rewards/positive reinforcement is much better than force.

 

bribe |brīb| verb [ with obj. ]

persuade (someone) to act in one's favor, typically illegally or dishonestly, by a gift of money or other inducement

 

Note the typically part; in other words, not always.

 

Positive reinforcement encourages someone to want to do something.  Force encourages resent, contentment, etc.

 

Oh, so instead of using just one ">" you wanted to be cryptic and use two ">>" but still meant better than.

 

Thanks for clearing that up! 

[Miythandria]

Several people have mentioned "knowing your child" and that is the key.  I have six children, and I can say that each one has had to be approached in a different way.