The Kings Island Jail

[rexpostal]

Have you ever been to the Kings Island jail?  Raise your hand!  

 

🙋‍♂️

 

Surprisingly,  I barely remember it at all!

[rexpostal]

I don't think it was actually a jail.  I think it was just the police room or whatever.  They just didn't think we could safely be in the park any longer and had to stay in that room until our friends showed up.  

We had apparently caused a scene in line for I believe the Terror Trail or something?  And we saw the lights flashing blue and red when we got out of the house.  We knew it was for us.  

They stopped me and my friend,  and asked us if we had been drinking and how much.  I stated, "Only whatever we have been served here tonight!  That's all!"  Trying to insinuate we had been overserved by the park and we weren't to blame for our actions.

Right as I said that,  my friend had a fifth of E&J brandy fall out of his jacket pocket onto the ground.  The funniest possible timing anything has ever happened.

We had seen a specific cop earlier in the evening,  and he told us we were going to end up in some sort of trouble then.  He was the one that took us up to the front,  and laughed about it all the way.  

When we got up there,  they told us we need to call up our friends to get us at the entrance as we couldn't safely be in the park anymore.  Both our phones were dead,  so they gave us chargers,  and we called them up as soon as our phones were turned on.  The same officer took us back up to the front,  and I asked him if I could run into a gift shop to buy a Haunt shirt. He said that was fine,  our friends showed up,  and he bid us farewell.

One of the best Haunt nights ever, but also surprisingly,  not the drunkest Haunt night I have had. 

[cdubbs727]

Cool story, bro. 

[beastfan11]

Pretty embarrassing, honestly. 

[rexpostal]

Ahhh,  the virgins have shown up.  Sorry no one ever invited you to party.  

[beastfan11]

46 minutes ago, rexpostal said:

Ahhh,  the virgins have shown up.  Sorry no one ever invited you to party.  

My brother in Christ, I’ve out drank you in the park 10-1, I guarantee it. The difference between you and actual adults is the fact that I’m not a sloppy kid who can’t hold their liquor. 
 

8 hours ago, rexpostal said:

Right as I said that,  my friend had a fifth of E&J brandy fall out of his jacket pocket onto the ground.  

Brandy? Are you the daughter of a wealthy plantation owner in the 1800’s? 

Cheers! 

[Losantiville Mining Co.]

(Prefacing with the fact that I don't like to drink alcohol anyways) Hey I'm sure that brandy is still enjoyable enough after nearly 200 years aging in a plantation house  

An embarrassing story indeed, but a funny one as well. Is this "jail" just a room in the admin building or where is it? I'm sure the park has something secure, but I don't know which of the admin buildings it would reasonably go in.

[Browntggrr]

21 hours ago, rexpostal said:

I don't think it was actually a jail.  I think it was just the police room or whatever.  They just didn't think we could safely be in the park any longer and had to stay in that room until our friends showed up.  

We had apparently caused a scene in line for I believe the Terror Trail or something?  And we saw the lights flashing blue and red when we got out of the house.  We knew it was for us.  

They stopped me and my friend,  and asked us if we had been drinking and how much.  I stated, "Only whatever we have been served here tonight!  That's all!"  Trying to insinuate we had been overserved by the park and we weren't to blame for our actions.

Right as I said that,  my friend had a fifth of E&J brandy fall out of his jacket pocket onto the ground.  The funniest possible timing anything has ever happened.

We had seen a specific cop earlier in the evening,  and he told us we were going to end up in some sort of trouble then.  He was the one that took us up to the front,  and laughed about it all the way.  

When we got up there,  they told us we need to call up our friends to get us at the entrance as we couldn't safely be in the park anymore.  Both our phones were dead,  so they gave us chargers,  and we called them up as soon as our phones were turned on.  The same officer took us back up to the front,  and I asked him if I could run into a gift shop to buy a Haunt shirt. He said that was fine,  our friends showed up,  and he bid us farewell.

One of the best Haunt nights ever, but also surprisingly,  not the drunkest Haunt night I have had. 

6 months since HH and this is the best you can come up with? 

Next time start with: "This one time at band camp...I got a fifth of E&J brandy stuck........."

[Orion-XL200]

Honestly, I laughed. 

The whole "jail," aspect is hilarious and I've heard of a few folks going there *cough season visitor cough cough.* 

If I remember correctly, it is off of guest services in a conference room. Maybe not.

[rexpostal]

16 hours ago, beastfan11 said:

My brother in Christ, I’ve out drank you in the park 10-1, I guarantee it. The difference between you and actual adults is the fact that I’m not a sloppy kid who can’t hold their liquor. 
 

Brandy? Are you the daughter of a wealthy plantation owner in the 1800’s? 

Cheers! 

You absolutely have not outdrank me.  That is an absolute fact.  

[rexpostal]

3 hours ago, Orion-XL200 said:

Honestly, I laughed. 

The whole "jail," aspect is hilarious and I've heard of a few folks going there *cough season visitor cough cough.* 

If I remember correctly, it is off of guest services in a conference room. Maybe not.

Yep.  That's pretty much what I remember.

I thought I was just telling a funny story of my nonsense.  I didn't recognize that it would trigger so many of these geeks.  

[rexpostal]

4 hours ago, Browntggrr said:

6 months since HH and this is the best you can come up with? 

Next time start with: "This one time at band camp...I got a fifth of E&J brandy stuck........."

I have lots of stories involving my alcoholism in my younger days.  This one just happens to be funny.  Oh well. 

[TombRaiderFTW]

On 3/5/2026 at 5:14 PM, rexpostal said:

Ahhh,  the virgins have shown up.  Sorry no one ever invited you to party.  

11 hours ago, rexpostal said:

I didn't recognize that it would trigger so many of these geeks.  

That's a bold strategy of building support and demand for future stories by condescendingly misusing the language of mental healthcare and calling us geeks and virgins, Cotton. Let's see how this one plays out.

Quick detail for the room: Raise your hand if you've ever been told, unsolicited, by KI's security team that you would "end up in some sort of trouble" by the end of your visit when you otherwise weren't being disruptive. Surely with the number of people here and the high frequency with which we triggered geeks and virgins visit the park, it would've happened to someone else here...?

[rexpostal]

20 hours ago, TombRaiderFTW said:

That's a bold strategy of building support and demand for future stories by condescendingly misusing the language of mental healthcare and calling us geeks and virgins, Cotton. Let's see how this one plays out.

Quick detail for the room: Raise your hand if you've ever been told, unsolicited, by KI's security team that you would "end up in some sort of trouble" by the end of your visit when you otherwise weren't being disruptive. Surely with the number of people here and the high frequency with which we triggered geeks and virgins visit the park, it would've happened to someone else here...?

Yeah,  I truly do not give a ****.  Sorry,  mate.  Try someone else. 

[beastfan11]

2 hours ago, rexpostal said:

Yeah,  I truly do not give a ****.  Sorry,  mate.  Try someone else. 

So hardcore, bro. You’re the coolest guy on the theme park message board.