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"Hello, everyone. I am here to be scared, so JUST TRY TO SCARE ME, DAG NABBIT! I DARE YOU!"

From favorite to least favorite, as of this year: 1. Slaughterhouse So intense! The scareactors make frighteningly skillful use of their environments and their co-actors to deliver scares literally around every corner, not to mention that the decorations are plentiful and very realistic. The designers of and actors in this thing really know what they're doing. Super gory- as to be expected from something themed to a cannibal's meat shop- but personally distractingly scary enough to keep it from being overly morbid. I have a tendency to look everywhere at all times to avoid getting unexpectedly scared, and that did not help me in Slaughterhouse. The scares are good, and the scareactors even better. The ending's a real blast, too. 2. Massacre Manor, Trail of Terror Both equally intense in their own rights. Neither are Slaughterhouse, but they'll have you freaking out if you slack on your guard. Not a whole lot of interaction with the environments, but there was quite a bit of double-teaming the scares, with great results. They give you some room to cautiously breathe at points, where Slaughterhouse is just scare after scare after scare after scare. These two were also the haunts last night where the actors... well... get to know you personally. Quoth "Momma": "Mmm, Alex! You gon' be first in mah stew!" Be jealous, because that's going to be one darn tasty stew. 4. Club Blood I'm always iffy on this one. The scares are always top-notch, but the actors' behaviors for the second half usually are borderline offensive. All the scares from the start to leaving the "club" scene were expertly done- I even saw one guy wearing these really cool white contacts that glowed in the blacklights. TOO COOL! The second half, though... I don't want to give anything away, as per the OP, but it never fails to be a little too sexual for my tastes year after year. 5. Cemetary Drive Surprisingly good! I can't really describe this one since its thrill lies in its actors, but this is a really, really good haunt this year. If you want to dip a friend's or your toe into a good taste of the Haunt experience, this is where I would start. Intense and suspenseful, but not too overwhelmingly so. 6. Corn Stalkers Gah, Cornstalkers. Hands-down either my top or second-favorite haunt in '08 and '09; hands-down uninspired this year. I don't like to tear down Haunts without some constructive criticism added in, but I really don't know what would have helped this one. You knew what was real and what wasn't, even though the actors really were doing their jobs well. My biggest joy with Cornstalkers this year was just watching the group of 12 year-old girls in front of us obliviously wander through, getting scared out of their wits. Maybe I'm just growing up and getting used to scares, but something just wasn't the same this time. 7. Cutthroat Cove On one hand, Cutthroat Cove was a lot better than it was last year. On the other hand, Cutthroat Cove is still... Cutthroat Cove. You can see the actors, most of which just scream shrilly at you and then meander back to where they came from. Ho hum. Awkward "booty" jokes, ahoy! 8. Wolf Pack I don't really deserve to give this one a fair review since I can't, but you can read my feelings on it here. WARNING: There will be spoilers! 9. Tombstone Terror-tory I was sorely let down by TTt, frankly. What was one of my favorite haunts last year was nothing more than a cool set-up to a bunch of below-average scares. You could see the actors coming a mile away, and they would only either shriek or growl mildly. What a bummer. Haven't gotten to Urgent Scare or Carnevil yet, and with any luck, I won't have to go through Death Row ever again.

See, I kind of see your point... except, aren't other various mystical creatures and cannibals going "rawr" basically all that's in the other haunts? There aren't that many chainsaws, Trail of Terror aside, now that The Worksite is gone... Sniff.

I honestly wasn't wowed by Wolf Pack. Maybe I was spoiled by how ridiculously scary Slaughterhouse's first impression was last year, but Wolf Pack just kind of seemed like a stroll through fingerpainted sets with boy scouts and various guys with taped-on chest hair and sideburns jumping out and roaring at me from obvious hiding spots. The actual physical props and decorations, sans the walls, were very nice and gave the whole thing a very nice forest-y feeling, but in the end it felt a lot like a toned-down Club Blood with boy scouts and body hair instead of fangs. That being said, I do have some disclaimers. First off and most importantly, mine was one of the first groups of the night. Because of that, it was still relatively bright outside, so a lot of potentially good hiding spots were really obvious. Second, on top of that, I don't think many of the scareactors had much hands-on (or maybe hands-off, since KI's a Cedar Fair park) experience in scaring. Finally, Wolf Pack's doing a 2009 Urgent Scare by trying to sell you your own picture... except without the cool effect (which I won't divulge lest they're doing it this year- are they?). You get your picture taken in front of a cutesy fall setting with absolutely no purpose whatsoever than to get a spontaneous picture. That was kind of a turn-off for me, because I'm there to get scared. If you're going to take my picture, make it something memorable for a scare-filled event in October. Not a "oh, here's what you looked like in line" sort of thing. I want (and will) give this Haunt a second try, as I feel it's got a lot of really cool potential going for it. The whole thing's a progression of the werewolf transformation from initial nibble on a boy scout to full transformation (culminating in that giant werewolf statue at the end.) Sounds awesome, right? (I wanted to give it a second try last night, in fact, but we just didn't get around to doing it. The coolest part was that it actually was something awfully close to a full moon, which the actors DID use to their benefit. ("WATCH OUT! IT'S A FULL MOON! RUN!") In the pitch-black night with actors who know their stuff, this Haunt could potentially rank up there with what I consider to be the best Haunts: Slaughterhouse, Club Blood, Massacre Manor, and Trail of Terror. I'll be keeping my hopes afloat for this one... I didn't think Slaughterhouse could get scarier, but boy, was I wrong last night. EDIT: On a side note, did anyone notice how epically pretty the moon was last night over Haunt? It was very much something out of a good horror movie.

My personal favorite part, paraphrased: "you guys are interpreting this wrong". Not at all an obvious calling out of a certain member...

This. EDIT: Is no longer a one-word post since I added this edit.

^ I love humor in passionately serious threads. (No, really. That was probably one of the funniest things I've ever heard on KIC.) I'm going to be very honest, and I hope my opinion can at least be respected. This event doesn't get under my skin nearly as much as the dead celebrities did last year. That's not to say that it couldn't be perceived as offensive; it really comes down to how KI handles it. And honestly, I'll be at Haunt this Friday. First off, this is not something that is disrespectful to the families of the actors (which, realistically, is what the wrestlers are). This is their job. This is something they enjoy. If it wasn't, why would they do it professionally? There aren't "midget hunters" lurking about, trying to capture anyone under 4'6" so they can throw them in the ring until they fight to the death. They do this voluntarily, and if someone like Kings Island wants to hire them to do what they like, that's the wrestlers' own business. The celebrity displays, on the contrary? Why didn't we see or hear of Greg Scheid or Dick Kinzel talking with Steve McNair's family to gain their permission for the display? Because it was offensive on a personal level to these people, and even trying to do so might have earned Cedar Fair a lawsuit. And because it was so personal, I was utterly disgusted and floored. To quote myself on KIE: And I wondered to myself then: Where are the people who loved Cedar Fair because they're bringing the park back to the pre-Paramount, "classic" days? No one answered that call, because no one could justify that that was what Taft or KECO would do. Because Taft or KECO wouldn't have done it. The "blood" will not be real; it will be just as much of a prop as every last office supply or other weapon they use. They will come out the other end of a show just fine. I do not buy this "they actually cut themselves" business, because you can't sincerely try to tell me that there's a legal business anywhere here in the good ol' health-precautioning US of A where it's required for the employees to do themselves physical harm. Come on. Furthermore, I cannot comprehend why this activity is suddenly sending off the health alerts... Those worried about the sweat getting flung around best try taking a look at the crowd in the Festhaus on days like the humid, blazing 4th of July, 2010, when the Festhaus was packed and had absolutely no air conditioning. Or on the average day in Coney Mall, when too many rides on the Scrambler paints Coney Mall's asphault the colors of a five million dollar LaRosa's pizza. Or on any ride ever with OTSRs, where many times during the summer months I've gotten the fantastically piercing stink of sweat or B.O. You will not be in any more risk of getting sweat in your Sprite while wrestling midgets do their thing on a stage at least ten feet away from you than you will any other day at the park. The health "risk" will not be a risk in the least, because why would ¢edar Fair expose themselves to further lawsuits like that? SBNOSOB '09 and '10, anyone? Now please understand this: I do not like the idea of this being at the park. Any wrestling at all is beyond uninteresting in my opinion, and adding midgets to it is just generally tasteless. (That's "tasteless," not "an attack at the personal level". At that, it does not have a strong effect on my attendance this year... but continue.) But like I said before, it really comes down to how KI handles it if they're going to add it. If this wrestling actually brings in rowdy "white trash" as the multitudes of you who haven't been to a single one of these events claim, then it's up to KI to ensure that these guests don't cause issues. What gets me is how much widespread doubt there is that KI will be able to handle these allegedly rowdy crowds. And I'm not going to condemn those of you who think so, because I honestly agree. I don't think they've perceived just how much of an issue this might be (at least, according to the people who've never experienced it firsthand). And now I ask again: Where are the people who love how Cedar Fair is bringing the park back to its "classic" feel? Anyone? Cedar Fair management does not and will not do things like the old times. Management-wide Blackberries aren't tools, they're toys to be disposed of. New rides aren't supposed to be small and have theme; just give it something that can have an adjective ending in "-est" for the advertisements. New Haunt attractions are to bring controversy. For all of this, Cedar Fair wants nickels in return. And because of that, I'm giving them the benefit of the doubt, for one key point: they want nickels. If what I've read in this thread is understood correctly, Haunt attendance has hardly wavered in spite of the controversial additions it's had basically every year since at least '06. Because these controversies aren't dangerous... unlike so-called "drunken," "white trash" mobs ready to cause a fight at a second's notice. If KI doesn't control the fights, word will get out, just like it did with the dead celebrity displays. And if a sincere safety risk won't keep people away from KI, then I guess I've misunderstood a lot in my lifetime. If these guest fights are real, then how they're handled will be key to Haunt's survival. But none of us know the truth, and until someone can vouch for having been to one of these events (whether inside or outside KI) I'm still going to be there Friday. Kings Island's Halloween Haunt: All you fear is here. Where else?

Fantastic update! Accessing KIC on my iPod just got a lot less zoom-needy and a lot more comfortable for my fat thumbs. Thanks so much for uploading it!

It's funny how people think I'm joking when I say the last row of Howler down the first drop has laterals to compete with Legend. That ride is serious business. Personally, I'm hoping for a replacement for Paul Revere's Midnight Ride with more capacity. I absolutely adore that ride, but it always has a line thanks to its slow loading procedures. Maybe something not too different from our own Monster? I'd also be pretty pleased with a more snappable set of flyers, but that's just the greedy Stricker's Grove fan inside me talking now. I'll be pleased with whatever Holiday World does. Heck, I'd be pleased if they didn't do anything at all. That park is fantastic.

This. I'd love a KI version of this. I've seen too many scared kids- literally kids, not pre-teens- at KI's Haunt. The first night of Haunt especially comes to mind, namely while waiting in the pass line prior to opening and getting charged by a giant cloud of monsters. SO MANY young kids ended up crying, and parents were, to put it lightly, boldly telling the monsters to leave their kids alone. Alex, who might be a little more impressed with some things were off limits...

^ Thanks! Seriously, Berzerker's probably one of the trippiest/most life-threatening flat rides I've ever been on. I'd sincerely be hesitant to bring an asthmatic friend onto the ride. Dominator and The Crypt are fantastic, and Shockwave is... quite a ride. Haha. And thanks for the DT info! Like I said, I seriously was wondering... the plummet took FOREVER. Again, thanks for the compliments! Intimidator 305: It's Millennium Force-- It's Maverick-- No! It's Intimidator 305! Okay, that was the cheesiest introduction/Superman spoof ever. Admit it. But it's true: Intimidator 305, our next stop, gets a lot of comparisons to those two rides. And it's for that reason that I was honestly rather skeptical of it when we got in line. I absolutely love Millennium Force, but when it comes to Maverick, I've got a bit of Interpreter inside me: the ride is absolutely fantastic... in the first row. The other rows attack my neck through those tight turns like Twilight fans on Robert Pattinson, so the idea of going through them at ~90 miles per hour... didn't exactly have me drooling. I read the TRs/PTRs on here, but I just couldn't get into the idea of riding I305. But regardless, I was going to ride it. It couldn't be too bad, right...? In case you haven't noticed, this TR, Crypt aside, has had two common themes: walking onto rides and having my preconceived notions, where applicable, overturned. Well, we walked onto (I think) the 5th-to-last row... and got our notions of the ride completely shattered. Airtime! Laterals! Grey-outs! More airtime! Quick but comfortable turns! Non-painful restraints! Airtime in turn transitions! Only two words can describe my feelings for this ride: true love. Whereas Maverick can be a neck-chopping wincefest for me in other rows, I305, both times ridden towards the back, was pure bliss. Glass smooth and forceful without being violent, I absolutely adored this ride and made absolutely sure to buy a shirt on the way out. Intimidator 305 was hands-down the best steel coaster I've ever been on. (Sorry, Magnum!) I can't even imagine riding it without trims, because it was simply unbelievable. It just barely didn't quite take down Voyage as my #1 overall, but geez, if it didn't give it a run for its money! If you like the idea of Millennium Force having much more airtime, the front row of Maverick, unbelievable airtime, quick turns, and hugging the ground, aim for the big red thing behind Anaconda PLZ. If you don't like greying out, extreme heights, not having much time to prepare yourself on a lift hill, or barely noticeable trim brakes, I sincerely hate to say it, but you might have a couple issues with I305. I'd personally suggest giving it a go anyway, but it really just comes down to how much of a problem you have with those negatives. Of all the coasters with trims I've ridden, almost all of them have a seriously negative experience impact when we hit the trims. For I305, the effect was almost nonexistent. 10/10, and my new #1 steel. "Gentlemen, start your engines" indeed- just the thought of re-riding gets me pumped for my next visit to KD. Anaconda: Think Vortex, but located on a lake. That's the best description I have for Anaconda, Kings Dominion's Arrow looper. The ride's setting in the Congo area is fantastically gorgeous, though I imagine it probably looked even more so without a giant gigacoaster looming behind the lift. But anyway, as we- you guessed it- walked onto the "Toomer row" (5-1), I was quickly reminded as I looked over the lake that the first drop goes straight into and underwater tunnel, with timed water blasts at each end to boot. "This will be fun!" I told myself despite my temperamental indifference towards Vortex. I'll bet you guessed my ride experience, too. As with Shockwave, the first 3/4 of the ride were a blast. The first drop into the tunnel, the loop, the sidewinder, and the drop from the MCBR were a real scream. (I'll be here all week, folks.) Following those, though, came a section of track I honestly have trouble describing. Viewable from 1:04 to 1:13 in , the ride lumbers about playfully in a, in theory, very good impression of a snake slithering. The problem? The low transition from the first "swoop" to the second. I don't know if the ride just aged that poorly or if it's the Arrow goodness making its way out in the ride. It was like Anaconda, instead of spreading headbanging out across the whole cycle, condensed it all in the second it took to maneuver that transition. OW. It didn't ruin the ride for me, but my goodness. I can't really swear off ever riding it again, but I would pretty much have to be in the right sort of mood to want to jump on on a return visit. I think our grass is greener on this one, guys.If you like wonky Arrow coasters or classic-feeling loopers, you'll want a spin on the smaller of the red Congo coasters. If you've a low pain tolerance... choose your row wisely, or else choose a nice park bench. 6/10, because the ride really has a lot going for it, if only not for that darn jolt. Backlot Stunt Coaster: Sound familiar? It should... a little. If you ever read GoodYellowKoRn182's comparisons of the clones, you know that many of our working effects don't work on KD's, and vice versa. I'm here to let you know he's spot-on, but I'll add something else: the queue for their BLSC is much more streamlined and direct. (If you ever watched the computer animation for IJST, KD's queue resembles that video much more than ours.) But besides that, there wasn't much else different, so we walked onto the middle car. The coaster itself was nothing new. The theming, however, was, bluntly, odd. How, you ask? It was odd in the sense that cruising down between cop cars was silent, in that flames didn't roar and crackle, in that the helicopter was stationary. When that's all you're used to on a backlot-themed stunt coaster, it feels very... off. But when you factor in the fact that their tunnel has tiny holes in it where sunlight peeks through as you rush through it and that their splashdown is functional, the ride experience is something similar to an unfamiliar deja vu. The tunnel somehow seems faster, and the finale seems more complete than on ours. (Without the splash, ours personally feels like it says, "...Aaaaand now it's over. Get off now. kthxbye.") But without the fire, the helicopter, or the cop cars, it feels something like paying for a movie ticket only to see the words "the end" on the screen when you walk in: unfulfilling, and you want to say, "Good one. Now, seriously..." If you like our BLSC, ride theirs, I guess. If you dislike our BLSC, you might as well skip it, then. With the care the park takes with just about everything else on their other rides, it's hard to hate on this... but it's hard to love it, too. 4/10. Avalanche: It's easy to forget this little bobsled coaster in its little corner by Volcano. Most easily compared to Disaster Transport at Cedar Point, this Mack ride's train travels freely through what basically looks like a giant PVC pipe. While I consider Disaster Transport to be somewhat of a hidden CP gem, it's by far not one of the most intense rides I've ever ridden. I refused to stereotype Avalanche, though- goodness knows I'd messed up enough stereotypes on rides that day. What really got me with this ride, though, were its restraints. Similar to Olympic luge, you and your riding partner ride with one person sitting between the legs of another. The simple metal restraint sort of sits lightly on your Ride Warrior sammich legs and lap, locking you in for a few minutes' awkwardness. Blushing and laughing meekly at how close our friendship had suddenly become, we rolled out of the station. The ride was surprisingly intense, with some light greying out to be had amidst very weak floater and very quick transitions. Seeing as how this was one of the quickest walk-ons of the day, I'd like to imagine it's also a hidden gem. I honestly don't really have a whole lot to rave about with this ride, but it's definitely worth a try and definitely works as a great family coaster. If you enjoy relatively mild coasters such as Adventure Express and/or are looking for a unique coaster experience, you'll enjoy Avalanche. If you're not a fan of (or have trouble finding the comedy in) having to wrap your legs around your friend's posterior for a good minute or two, you might want to "accidentally" overlook its missable entrance by The Crypt and keep walking towards Volcano's entrance. 6/10. Ghoster Coaster: I have a confession: we didn't actually ride Ghoster Coaster at this point. I actually forgot at which point we rode this ride... so it's going here. Don't like it? Fine. Skooch on down the page, then. See if I care. Ghoster Coaster is quite simply a very similar coaster to our own Fairly Odd Beastie Doo Express. The funny part? It was probably our longest wait of the day. The even funnier part? Walking onto the last row, I buckled in... And got mild ejector air. Multiple times. On a kiddie woodie. I'm not lying. The ride gently-but-definitely chucked me out of my seat on nearly every drop, with an especially surprising pop on the hill before the brake run. Wow. That wasn't I305 or anything, but wow. If you like kiddie woodies and surprise airtime, get yo'self in the last row of this thing. If you don't like kiddie woodies, do it anyway for the sake of having done it. 5/10, and an honor as my favorite kiddie woodie. Sorry, Zach's Zoomer. Sorry to keep breaking this report up into multiple parts, but I take a while to write. I hope to finish this thing up by tomorrow. In the meantime, tell me, like GYK, what you think: how well do I write TRs? Any input is completely appreciated.

Thanks, Terp and Stephatron! TR writing gets a little easier with comments like yours. Sorry for the wait, by the way. Yesterday was unexpectedly eventful, so by the time I could write, I was too pooped to try. Haha. Anyhoo... After riding BBoBH about 3 times, we took a break to get some water since the weather was suffocating between the high humidity and mid-90's temperature. But there was more riding to do, so we made our way to... Shockwave: If you can recall a time when Kings Island had a TOGO stand-up coaster, you're allegedly not too far off-base from Shockwave. If you're like me and never got a chance to ride King Cobra, then this ride will seem like an incredibly exciting credit to snatch up. Shockwave has a great location along the length of what's essentially KD's Coney Mall with a semi-disturbing rattling sound that can be heard throughout the area. Regardless, though, I found it to be visually enticing, so we walked onto the third row, wedged ourselves in the ridiculously awkward restraints, and were off. Now, I don't know what riding King Cobra was like... but based off of the reviews, I think I'll imagine it was more pleasant than Shockwave. Don't get me wrong: from the top of the lift, through the loop and double helix, and up till after the airtime hill by the station, I was fairly positive this would clobber Mantis as my favorite stand-up (even though Mantis was the only one I'd been on). The ride wasn't obscenely rough, and my head wasn't necessarily getting chucked around like Mantis tends to at and after the MCBR. The experience thus far had a very "classic" feel to it, and I was loving every minute. Then came the last turn before the brakes. I watched the front car take this huge, awkward leap into this turn, and I tried to brace myself. I failed. My whole body thunked from one side to the other both entering and exiting the turn. One painful bunny hop and leap into the brakes later, I prayed the brain damage wasn't permanent. The non-Crypt ride that had the most preconceived potential to impress really let me down, to be frank. If you like awkwardly wedging yourself inside multiple pieces of foam, bracing yourself for pain a la Son of Beast (totally getting flamed for that one), stand-up coasters, and long loading times, I present to thee Shockwave. If you're like me and aren't a fan of having a brace position that has to be applied at a second's notice, then let's skip this one. 4/10 just because I like stand-up airtime (as long as I keep my legs straight!) TR writing to be continued later this afternoon.

Hey all! If you happened to read the thread I made on tips for Kings Dominion, then you know I made my way down to Doswell, Virginia this past Thursday. If you didn't, you know now. Kings Dominion's been the park I've been going- there is a no more appropriate word- insane waiting to visit. It's the one park I've wanted to visit ever since vacations even ten years ago, when we ate at the Burger King across the street on a mid-travel chance and I wanted to know why there was another Eiffel Tower at some "Paramount's Kings Dominion". It's the place I've wanted to go ever since I really got into parks and coasters two years ago and discovered they had a lot of the elements since removed from KI that really "made" the park experience when I was a kid. And I finally made it. Holy cow. I didn't take too many pictures because I was too busy drooling over the theming park experience, but here's how it went down. The Arrival: We arrived at the park at 9:30, an hour before it opened. In my opinion, Kings Dominion has a far more impressive skyline compared to Kings Island. It may be an "other side's grass is greener" situation, but to me, the Dominion's skyline-shaping rides seem much closer together. It gave me a first impression that there was a lot more to do in the park, and that ended up getting me incredibly psyched to take on the day. Intimidator 305 and the Eiffel Tower tower over the rest of the park, but between Dominator and Volcano below, getting excited is pretty much inevitable. Dominator, especially, thanks to its location at the front of the park, is very impressive- and looks much larger than I had originally imagined. We parked pretty much the closest you can get to the entrance to the park and made our way to the admission gate, which looks really odd with an Eiffel Tower not blocked by an International Restaurant. I'm going to jump on a soapbox here for a moment. If you'd rather not read, move on down to the next bold title. I absolutely loved the fact that there's no incredibly special, so-special-we-won't-toss-it-in-with-a-Platinum-pass parking there. It's not a matter of me being a whiny enthusiast; it's a matter of not getting special treatment based on how much you pay. I'm not a big fan of a lot of price-based perks- in fact, the only reason I get a platinum pass each year is for the admission and parking to other CF parks. It's come in fantastic use for Kings Island, Cedar Point, Michigan's Adventure (even though they weren't too familiar with what it was, haha), and now Kings Dominion. (On a side note, I absolutely hope the non-included parking rumor for next year isn't true. It will make my renewing come into strong question.) The "premiere" parking (or whatever it is) at KI just irks me, because it's like Kings Island absolutely has to nickel-and-dime their guests for every last cent they have access to. But I'll step off my soapbox now. Waiting to Enter: We stood in line at the gate when, out of nowhere, Linus came out to greet everyone in line. He was soon followed by (someone I guess to be) an admissions supervisor, who greeted us all with a very friendly, very loud "goooooooooooooooooood morning" and explained to us about how to safely store our items for the rides before telling us to enjoy our day. What a fantastic touch! I had heard enthusiast grumblings about the KD staff, but I certainly wasn't buying into it at the first impression. And at 10:00, the surprisingly small group of us were allowed to enter. With the strongest urge ever of excitement to grab my friend Hannah's sleeve and leave a dust trail towards the rides, we hurried over to Berzerker. Berzerker is located just off the left side of International Street, most comparably where our (former- can't think of its current name) Paramount Theatre is located. Of course, it's completely impossible to avoid gawking at the KD IS. The KD IS is incredibly tree-filled. When combined with their better-themed buildings, bubbling fountains, and looming Eiffel Tower, the effect is impressive at least. I can't describe it any better than that. It's probably due to being so used to KI's IS, but it totally revved me up for the day. Now, I'm not really going to give a play-by-play of how we went about the rest of the day, because I honestly feel like it gets old hearing "and then we went to x, which was super awesome, and then we went to y, which was super lame, and then we went to z bathroom, which smelled like old corn chips". Instead, I'll just review the rides in the order we hit them up. The Rides. Berzerker: If you're not familiar with Berzerker, it's essentially Kings Dominion's Viking Fury/swinging ship. The big draw with Berzerker, however, is that it rotates a full 360 degrees, leaving you dangling above the ground. The differences because of that are that the lap bar is instead, for a lack of better words, two colossal, firm black marshmallows and that it has over-the-shoulder restraints (OTSRs). This seemed like a pretty cool setup for a pretty cool ride, especially with its walk-on wait. The cycle started, and while it didn't have the airtime of Viking Fury, I was impressed. And then came the first swing that nearly cleared the top. The OTSRs on Berzerker were at best painful as we dangled down on top of them, and on the down swing, mine gave my friend's and my lungs a good squeeze as they clicked further down. From that point on, we laughed in gasping agony as we kept swinging and flipping. Point and case, we walked away nicknaming the ride "Asthma: The Ride" but regardless having had obscenely too much fun. If you and your friends happen to be giggling masochists like us, this ride is a must-ride for sure. If you are claustrophobic, dislike being held upside down, or prefer to breathe regularly, you may not enjoy a spin on Berzerker. I'd probably pass on it on a re-visit, but it's worth a shot just to say you've ridden it. 2/10. Dominator: Dominator, for those not in the know, is Geauga Lake's transplanted B&M Floorless. There's honestly nothing comparable at Kings Island, unless your imagination can somehow mishmash Vortex and Diamondback into a roaring, smooth looper. Thanks to the nonexistent lines, we walked onto the second row. Now I understand why people go gaga for B&M coasters. I can absolutely respect other people's opinions of rides, but- be gentle, flamers- I have never been truly wowed by a B&M coaster before, save for the occasional last-row ride on Raptor. Diamondback has its great moments and is a fantastic addition to KI, but I need more "meat" to my coasters than repeated floater airtime and helixes. Dominator was an absolute blast- and, more importantly, unlike my only other non-DB B&Ms (Raptor and Mantis), Dominator didn't bore me, hurt me, and/or cause me to gray out while boring and/or hurting me. The ride was surprisingly violent- violent, not painful, a la Diamondback's turnaround rattle- but, by the final brake run, I was in love with its twists and fast inversions. The lack of a floor somehow made the view from our row seem wider, as well. I might have preferred a bit quicker pacing, but they all can't be a Voyage. Smiling, we walked away totally loving the ride, and if we'd had more time, I'd almost certainly have gone for a re-ride. If you like smooth inversions, moderate element pacing, ground-hugging turns, and arguably second-row-of-Racer roughness, I'd put money on you liking Dominator. If you dislike generally awesome loopers or not having solid ground beneath you, this may not quite be your cup of tea. 8/10, and my new #4 steel. Drop Tower: Drop Tower is Drop Tower is Drop Tower? Not quite. Kings Dominion's Drop Tower is a bit shorter than ours both in height and in ride time. The shortened ride time is due in part to its lack of rotation and shortened anticipation at the top. It's basically and quick cruise up and a FAST drop down, and it felt to me like the drop was longer. Sure, it's probably due to the fact that I'd never been on the ride before... but tell that to this guy. I hate hate hate getting dropped, and I ended up yelling "ARE WE GOING TO STOP" to the other three riders. Good news, everyone: it stops. The thing must be a people eater, because it's got a huge capacity and a tiny ride cycle. Probably not a huge difference between KI's and KD's DTs besides the rotation to the average Ride Warrior. If you like getting dropped, then look for the orange-and-pink tower in the Grove. If you hate Drop Tower/getting dropped, let's be friends. And then let's avoid this ride. For a Drop Tower, 10/10. For how much I liked it, 2/10. At least there wasn't much anticipation and/or clicking at the top. The Crypt: Now... if you know me at all, you know that this was It. What's It? It is the ride to make the park for me, as decided before I get to the park. If my username isn't obvious enough, Tomb Raider: The Ride was my favorite ride ever, thus making me a bitter, bitter KI Crypt rider. And the old Tomb Raider: Firefall (now KD's Crypt)? It basically kept everything that made it Tomb Raider-y, save for some- and only some- of the direct movie references. Sound like a recipe for Alex happiness? You betcha. So without further ado, both of us (and us alone) walked right onto the side not facing Volcano, strapped in, and waited. Oh. My goodness. I'm not going to sit here and type "It's like TR:TR never left! It's the best thing ever! Bring all your friends!" The ride is no TR:TR. But so help me, it gets closer than anything else I've experienced. And that was enough for me. To compare, before I review the ride experience: the ride itself is not the same as our Crypt. I don't care what your friend's mom's brother's niece's cousin's soccer mom's nephew's dog's previous owner told you. Kings Dominion's suspended top spin is a smaller, nimbler ride located outdoors with the vehicle's rows facing opposite each other, whereas ours is a lumbering giant top spin located indoors (with both rows facing forwards) that to me now seems very bulky and very inept at doing anything besides functioning as a grande-size Action Theater. And whereas ours is, as many a member here will say, "a giant Ferris wheel in a box," Kings Dominion's is a spiraling, disorienting sensory overload. Remember how our Crypt once had that crazy flipping cycle that plastered you to your seat and flung you about? Yeah, I don't think it's supposed to do that. Not comfortably, anyway. It's meant for a suspended top spin, and it works wonders for Kings Dominion. When you're not getting very close to some rather powerful water fountains, you're getting roasted by flames and disoriented by so many flips, all set to an epic score. It's indescribable, and if you're as thirsty for Tomb Raider-top spin goodness as I was, you'll be in love with it. Just like I was. I really can't build on it any more than that. If you like disorientation, lots of functional theming, epic music scores, Tomb Raider: The Ride, and the smell of propane (from the fire effects, haha) then PLEASE get yourself on The Crypt. If you don't like being flung about, being disoriented, or having a Paramount-worthy good time, then please at least sit in the viewing area for this ride and watch a cycle or two. It's almost more visually impressive from a watcher's perspective than a rider's. 9/10, only because it's so disorienting that I had trouble re-riding it more than once. Volcano: The Blast Coaster: Volcano is an Intamin launched suspended coaster set inside a giant volcano. Or, in KI terms... like nothing we have. At all. The best comparison to this is Wicked Twister at Cedar Point meets something twisted, delicious, themed, and full-circuited. The long queue twists its way around and inside the volcano, which itself is adorned with a periodic (literal) blast of flame. The coaster as well winds and twists its way around the volcano. We waited one train for the third row. I absolutely love this ride, and it completely roasted Wicked Twister from its 5th-place spot on my steel list. A first launch kicks you from the volcano, but a second (and surprisingly strong) launch positively hurls you from the top of the volcano on a twisted path of heartline rolls and sudden dives before you crash smoothly back into the brakes. I was shocked both by how relentlessly fast this ride is and by how jerky it was. Contrary to my POV-fed notions of the ride, the train really flies through the heartline rolls, and the semi-quick transitions into the turns between them could definitely be felt. That's in no way to say the ride is rough. I still like it infinitely better than my experience with the other non-KI Geauga Lake recycle, Thunderhawk at Michigan's Adventure. Volcano just has its way with you and sends you back where you came from, and I completely fell in love with it. If you enjoy Wicked Twister, (arguably) Maverick, sudden launches, and quick plunges, then I beg of you to ride Volcano: the Blast Coaster. If Flying Ace Aerial Chase seems rough to you, you might want to step away from this amazing ride. 8/10, only because I wish it was a smidge longer. My new #5 steel. Flight of Fear: I'll be frank: there aren't a metric ton of exterior differences between KI's and KD's FoF. There's a huge, ugly Haunt setup in the queue. Sure, there's a lot more theatrical lighting that works in KD's. But on the other hand, their station was honestly rather dully lit and poorly cared for compared to ours. It's an equal trade. Everything else was the same on the exterior. The big difference, however, is that, at least on my walk-on ride in the front row, the ride is incredibly less violent than ours. It was a very smooth ride that didn't stop on the MCBR (!). If I ride our Flight of Fear on a hot, water-deprived day, I will walk away smiling but wincing at my new headache. On this equally hot and water-deprived day, I walked away smiling- and that was it. If you like our Flight of Fear, you'll probably like this better. If you don't like our Flight of Fear because of anything besides how dark it is, chances are I might ask you to give KD's a try. It was the difference between day and... well, very late that afternoon. The layout was familiar, but the riding experience was new. 8/10. Boo Blasters on Boo Hill: Like Flight of Fear, there isn't a ginormous difference between our BBoBH and theirs. The only real external changes are the outside of the building, which has a fantastic queue that leads you through a bayou/swamp sort of themed (I hear the Hallelujah chorus) setting, and how close you come to the targets, which are much closer. In riding it, though, I found I liked Kings Dominion's BBoBH much better. The cars are mechanically identical to Holiday World's Gobbler Getaway, but the guns are much easier to aim. While moving through nearly identical scenes, we realized the guns have working lasers that help you aim. (If you're a cheater, hold down the button and point it at the targets instead of pressing the trigger. You'll never prosper, you know.) The downside to the experience was that the fog effect wasn't on and the shrieking skeletons were silent and unlit... except when you hit their powered targets. Then, of course they'd let out some shriek to high heaven that scared the bejeezus out of me. Goodness. The end of the ride left me liking it more than ours, but it still just didn't quite take down Gobbler Getaway, for some unknown reason. If you like dark rides and/or our Boo Blasters, then ride this if you've got extra time. If you're pressed for time, this is honestly kinda passable. There's not that much of a difference besides the outside queue. 7/10. I'm going to take a break at this point and continue the TR later. We got home this evening, and I'm so tired I've gone cross-eyed trying to write this TR. I hope to cover the rest of the rides and coasters (save for one side of Rebel Yell, Ricochet, and Taxi Jam, which we missed), the park employees, and the park atmosphere in future updates. Till then, let me know what you think! -Alex

Thanks for the suggestions, guys! I'm grateful! Now, I just have to fight the urge to ride The Crypt all day... hahaha. If anyone has anything else to add, I'm still all ears!

Hey, everyone. So, originally this summer, our family had plans to go to Canada next week. We would have hit up Canada's Wonderland, but unfortunately, those plans fell through. However, it turns out we'll instead make our way to Kings Dominion for my first visit ever. Obviously, I am ridiculously excited. (I'm not even going to try to describe it on here, because it would just be a bunch of capitals and exclamation points and random shouts like OH MY GOSH THEY HAVE A CRYPT THAT DOESN'T ACTUALLY SUCK.) I've posted on KDFansite to find out how busy it might be next Thursday, and it seems we've more or less lucked out. As long as the weather cooperates, I think it's setting up to be an awesome day, even though the park's got a shortened schedule of 10:30a-8:00p. The only thing I'm not sure of, though, is how to go about hitting up the rides at the park. The two must-rides at the park are The Crypt and Berzerker, but we'd like to get as much done as possible with what time and/or lines we might have. Anyone got any suggestions on how to take on the park?

^^ As is Action Theater.

http://www.visitkingsisland.com/public/park/rides/thrill_rides/WindSeeker.cfm

Meanwhile, Cedar Point updated their facebook page with "New for 2011: Wind Seeker". Looks like we're getting Stratosoar?

...It's 2. I see nothing but "Waiting for Video."

I'm on the same page. They probably won't start the video till 2. And at that, I don't even have the audio. I just have a black screen that says "Waiting for Video."

Well HELLO there, sudden announcement out of nowhere with absolutely no hype whatsoever. I'm totally up for a Wind Seeker or Star Flyer at KI. The only thing is (though I'm not complaining) is that we sort of already have Zephyr, which essentially is the same ride. On top of that, if it went in Coney Mall at all, wouldn't that be kind of silly? It'd be like if CP plopped Power Tower where the carousel is (at the front of the park) but had Demon Drop right next door. I'm still totally grateful for whatever they add, anyway. Don't get me wrong, I love me some flats at KI; but it would be nice to have something new.

This wouldn't be the first time that Cedar Point has played up online rumors about their new ride. Especially now that everyone's in their comments, shrieking "IT'S A STARFLYER NAMED STRATOSAUR!!!1!111one!" ...It's StratoSOAR, everyone. People are misspelling and therefore misunderstanding, and Cedar Point's taking advantage of it. Which isn't a bad idea, in my opinion, if they want to keep what the ride's TRUE identity a secret. When has Cedar Point EVER been this transparent about its new rides? The defense would like to remind the jury of a certain picture: Bolded for emphasis. Sounds like it to me.Remember, everyone: Cedar Fair trademarked Stratosoar. Not Cedar Point. -Alex, who gets tired of facts being overlooked because we're all so sure of something. Ride Sally Ride, anyone?

Fun PTR! Sounds like you had a great time, headaches aside. The only thing... Forgive me, everyone, because I probably sound like a cheerleader, but I'm willing to put money on the fact that you didn't ride Voyage in either the front row of a car or in the very front (or very back) row. Voyage is a very odd ride in that moving to the center of the train tends to result in a rougher ride. People tend to have mixed feelings about the last row, but I guarantee that you might enjoy Voyage quite a bit more if you ride in the front row. The ride's alleged jackhammering/jerkiness is at its least in that seat, and riding there has converted some to a more positive opinion of a ride. (The defense calls Beast1979 as a witness!)