Gordon Bombay

You know who won't be silent? Def Leppard and their tens of fans still rocking out to "Pour Some Sugar on Me" at the new venue.

These jokes about my Alma mater’s campus are pretty cold and gray. Just like its campus.

John Matarese is a silly and would never have anything to "report" if it wasn't for... 1) This website 2) Apple releasing new iPhones (he does the SAME story every year) 3) His target demographic falling for his scare tactics constantly.

Aquaman’s Car Rental Adventure Sponsored by Hertz.

Kings Dominion: “Finally, Batman Knight Flight will be where it was always intended!”

Wasn’t that every night?

Honestly, I think that was truly how it was presented. There was a bit of a long line and it just made more sense to ride with a buddy, or a "bud-ay" as @ZosoBeast would say. Still, that wasn't even the worst ride at their weird holiday event from Hell. That award goes to the paddle boats in the lazy river. Just ask @CoastersRZ. A better name for the attraction would be: "cold, confusing, and frustrating ride through an abandoned waterpark." EDIT: Just remembered, I think @XGatorHead 8904 has a terrifying story about those paddle boats.

YES! Hahaha, that was the most terrifying thing I’d ever done in an amusement park. Fairly certain those two slides in your video came from Surf Cincinnati. In 2006, they let @Dane and I take our pick of sleds (out of a pile where we had to decide “which one is less broken”)—and then they let us ride together.

@BoddaH1994 would know better than me, but I’m pretty sure only one former Surf Cincinnati slide got used and that was circa 2006 for their weird and definitely questionable “toboggan” attraction that Boddah, @Dane, and I wrecked on. I don’t think they ever brought that back. The “tubing” they had in later years was just a giant dirt pile in the parking lot and the slides sitting in pieces out there were from… Columbus’ old zoo waterpark thing?

Sounds like someone just put out an old tombstone/decoration where the coloring on the name had deteriorated. I don't think there's a whole conspiracy afoot here. Probably some seasonal employee grabbed it from the storage area, threw it on a truck, set it out with a bunch of others, and then went about their day.

You're not wrong - didn't even realize it was a Six Flags pass until I took it to KI and they wouldn't let me in. Weirdly, though, I somehow got a bunch of pass perks at the front gate every time they tried to scan it.

Wonderland fans are lucky, I bought my pass at LaRonde and couldn't read the fine print cause it's in French.

Awesome. Can't wait!

Looking forward to reading this! Is Rick authoring it, or are you authoring it @KIghostguy? I ask because I really loved your KI history book!

You know who didn't see, though? Thomas. He had his doubts.

Old Pontious prefers Flying Ace Aerial Chase. You know... because he's a Pilate.

Even after the crowd cheered: "Give us, Barabbas B&M!"

Is this a Halloween Haunt announcement? Because Vekoma is back from the dead!

He knows too much.

Honestly surprised that this has never been implemented given all the other customer-service focused improvements in a post-Kinzel era. When Fast Lane was implemented, it was very clearly a quick way to make profit. The overhead was low (wristbands) and the revenue had to be off the charts, but then the park continued to vastly "oversell." You'd see rides like Flight of Fear with a regular, slow-moving line and a slightly less long, but still slow moving "Fast Lane" line. Given the experience at other parks and the name having the word fast in it, I couldn't believe that they were letting that happen. Hell, even on Firehawk back in the day (RIP), they'd do one station for Fast Lane one for regular guests with both lines being awful. "Fast Lane" was like 45 minutes for that ride. And the park just kept selling passes all day. The debut of Fast Lane was typical of that immediate post-Kinzel era: profit placed way over guest experience (or, rather, certain park VPs of "Kingzee's Ayyland" trying to make themselves look good). Given the strides CF has made in recent years, I'm surprised to see the "system" still exists and hasn't been upgraded to something more modern/guest friendly/advantageous (with the other benefit being that guests with a virtual queue are out of line spending money). Could even make it app based... but then they'd have to figure out an app.

If you want to win the golden ticket you need not spend your budget on family coasters, you need to spend it on Amusement Today advertising.

Willing to bet they just call it “Dragster” still while talking about the accident as they wait in line.

How does Cedar Point consistently come up with the dumbest names?

I was. But I'm not joking about Orion being a Toyota when Fury and Leviathan are Lexus'.

This one's true, tho.